Political Jokes - Page 2

cdfreelancer · 02-05-2006, 01:00 PM

Tony Blair.

~~whodat~~ · 03-12-2006, 02:48 PM

The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Qaeda terrorist after questioning him extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea.

In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 1962 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody.

The attached photo shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.!

bry623 · 05-17-2006, 09:01 AM

If Jesus were a republican.......

From FOXNEWS: "Spiritual leader miraculously walks on water."

From CBS: "False Prophet can't swim"

**Joefireline** · 06-01-2006, 03:35 PM

What is the differance between a Political and crap?
Crap doesn't lie!

bry623 · 06-06-2006, 11:17 AM

A woman has 2 sons. One goes off to sea, the other is elected Vice-President. Neither is heard from again.

bry623 · 06-15-2006, 09:37 AM

Geroge Carlin was on Leno. The next guest was Ann Coulter. Carlin said, that he never thought that he would move to the right of her.

**Lectraplayer** · 07-09-2006, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DumberDrummer

Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?

A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.

Sad thing is that the way we're headed, Iraq's gonna repeat 'Nam if these candy-briches politicians don't get axed.

**Drew1369** · 01-22-2007, 02:27 PM

If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: *** the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: ***! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: ***
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: *** u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: *** u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh **** help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: *** eisenhower hax hes killing all my ****
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: *** that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say ******* lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: *** i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: *** my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: *** am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this **** im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: ***?
Eisenhower: **** now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: *** is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o ****!
*paTTon has left the game.*

**Drew1369** · 03-26-2007, 10:06 AM

"My uncle ran for Senate last year."
"Really? What does he do now?"
"Nothing. He got elected."

bry623 · 04-16-2007, 08:26 AM

Dan Rather, Katie Couric and a U.S. Marine are captured by Al Qeida in Iraq. The terrorists grant them each one final wish. Rather says that he is a Texan and could use a good bowl of chili, so all could know he was a Texan to the end. Katie asked for a camera, so that she could report the story and all of her fans would know that she stuck with the story. The Marine asked for the terrorist to kick him in the ***.
"Why do you want that?"
"Just do it, OK?"
So he kicks the Marine in the AS$ who tumbles and comes up with a 9 mm and shoots him, grabs his machine gun and kills the other terrorists and they escape. On their freedom flight, the reporters asked him why he requested to be kicked in the a$$. He said
"Because I didn't want you guys to report that I was the aggressor."

~~muttbob~~ · 06-03-2007, 03:36 PM

President Bush,Dick Cheney,and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.Cheney looks at Bush, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Bush shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Rumsfeld says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at copilot and says, "I could throw them all out the window and make millions of people happy."

yustr · 06-07-2007, 06:35 PM

Off color so stop reading now if you're easily offended....

The Trojan condom company has just come out with a new condom. They call it the George W...it's for little pr***s who don't know when to withdraw.

Nightsky · 06-07-2007, 08:57 PM

G'Day,
I think this one is a beauti

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that Three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the colour ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.? Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld,

"Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

kel2000 · 08-17-2007, 01:22 PM

How many Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three...

One to hold the bulb and two to drink enough to make the room spin.

**ashumann12** · 10-15-2007, 08:14 PM

a True Hillbilly

bry623 · 01-28-2008, 06:53 AM

G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
> As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a
> word was spoken.
>
> The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it
> would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one
> who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave.
>
> Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary
> will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."
>
> The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?" Bush
> replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a
> whorehouse smells like."

**ashumann12** · 02-28-2008, 12:06 PM

Subject: Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from

the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's

worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also,

since he lost his job eight years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one.

All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and B.S. with his buddies

while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to

college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a

lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless -------------

Dear Clueless, Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman - you don't need

him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for

President of the United States. Act like one.

bry623 · 03-17-2008, 01:01 PM

Did you hear about KFC's new Hilary Bucket?

2 small breasts
2 large thighs
and a left wing

**Chode** · 03-17-2008, 11:12 PM

President Bush was walking along the beach one day when he tripped over a hard object stuck in the sand. Looking down, he saw what looked like an old oil lamp, so he picked it up and started brushing the sand away. Suddenly, a large plume of smoke spewed from the lamp, and in an instant a short, dumpy Genie stood before the President.

"Yo!", said the Genie, "Behold! I am the Genie of the lamp, yadda, yadda, what's your wish? And before you spout off about three wishes, that ain't the way it works; you get one. And I ain't much of a Genie so keep it small."

The President thought a while and then replied, "Well, I'm concerned about my legacy. I want to be remembered as the man who led the nation through tough economic times to the strongest economic recovery in the country's history. I want to be remembered as the President that won the war in Iraq and defeated international terrorism, the President who united the American people across partisan lines, the President who..."

"Whoa, whoa! Slow down buddy!" shouted the Genie. "Look! Ya gotta remember, I ain't such a hotshot Genie! I don't do the big stuff!" Have ya got another wish?'

"If I can't have the legacy I want, I guess I'd like to see the Houston Astros win the World Series." responded Bush.

The Genie was quiet a moment, then he said, "Let's talk some more about that legacy."

**ashumann12** · 05-02-2008, 09:28 PM

The Haircut

This is a litle long, but good.

The Haircut

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot
accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The
florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank
you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he
tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money
from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you'
card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business'
and 'Becoming More Successful'.

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his
bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and
leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

Elections are coming. Vote carefully this year.

02-05-2006, 01:00 PM	#21 (permalink)
cdfreelancer Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southwest UK Posts: 332 OS: XP pro 32bit	Tony Blair. __________________ AMD Athlon 2400+ Radeon 9600 (256MB DDR) DDR-SDRAM PC3200 1024MB 10MB cable broadband

05-17-2006, 09:01 AM	#23 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,563 OS: winxp pro sp2	If Jesus were a republican....... From FOXNEWS: "Spiritual leader miraculously walks on water." From CBS: "False Prophet can't swim" __________________ I won a nobel prize too!!

06-06-2006, 11:17 AM	#25 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,563 OS: winxp pro sp2	A woman has 2 sons. One goes off to sea, the other is elected Vice-President. Neither is heard from again. __________________ I won a nobel prize too!!

06-15-2006, 09:37 AM	#26 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,563 OS: winxp pro sp2	Geroge Carlin was on Leno. The next guest was Ann Coulter. Carlin said, that he never thought that he would move to the right of her. __________________ I won a nobel prize too!!

03-26-2007, 10:06 AM	#29 (permalink)
Drew1369 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle, WA, USA Posts: 3,359 OS: Win7 Ultimate	Re: Political Jokes "My uncle ran for Senate last year." "Really? What does he do now?" "Nothing. He got elected." __________________ We humans have a primal urge to kill because, thanks to natural selection, all the homo sapiens who didn't have a primal urge to kill, were themselves killed. http://obamaclock.org/

03-12-2006, 02:48 PM	#22 (permalink)
~~whodat~~ Register user Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,931 OS: XP	The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Qaeda terrorist after questioning him extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea. In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 1962 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody. The attached photo shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.!

06-01-2006, 03:35 PM	#24 (permalink)
Joefireline Enthusiastic TSFer~Joseph Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Portishead (Bristol) England Posts: 5,319 OS: Windows 7 64bit(Desktop) / XP Home SP2(laptop) My System	What is the differance between a Political and crap? Crap doesn't lie!

01-22-2007, 02:27 PM	#28 (permalink)
Drew1369 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle, WA, USA Posts: 3,359 OS: Win7 Ultimate	If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this. Hitler[AoE] has joined the game. Eisenhower has joined the game. paTTon has joined the game. Churchill has joined the game. benny-tow has joined the game. T0J0 has joined the game. Roosevelt has joined the game. Stalin has joined the game. deGaulle has joined the game. Roosevelt: hey sup T0J0: y0 Stalin: hi Churchill: hi Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks! paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks T0JO: lol Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression! benny-tow: haha america sux Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool? Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever Stalin: cool deGaulle: ** Hitler rushed some1 help Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy Roosevelt: i dont got to help, sry Churchill: * the luftwaffle is attacking me Roosevelt: get antiair guns Churchill: i cant afford them benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is? paTTon: stfu Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army paTTon: yah hurry the fock up Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck deGaulle has left the game. Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k? benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair? benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head? Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u Roosevelt: *! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u Hitler[AoE]: * Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me! T0J0: * u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path Stalin: * u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol benny-tow: haha benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1 T0J0: o ** i cant help u i got my hands full Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help Roosevelt: yah thats right * im comin for ya Stalin: church help me Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here Stalin: dont be an arss Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late Eisenhower: LOL benny-tow: hahahh oh ** help Hitler: o man ur focked paTTon: oh what now biotch Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol benny-tow has been eliminated. benny-tow: lame Roosevelt: gj patton paTTon: thnx Hitler[AoE]: * eisenhower hax hes killing all my Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record Eisenhower: Nuts! benny~tow: * that mean? Eisenhower: meant to say ******* lol finger slipped paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker Stalin: rofl T0J0: HAHAHHAA Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated. benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL Stalin: OMG LMAO! Hitler[AoE]: *** i didnt click there omg this game blows Hitler[AoE] has left the game paTTon: hahahhah T0J0: * my teammates are n00bs benny~tow: shut up noob Roosevelt: haha wut a moron paTTon: * am i gunna do now? Eisenhower: yah me too T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol Eisenhower: fock u paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie Stalin: go to hell lol paTTon: fock this **** im goin afk Eisenhower: yah this is gay Roosevelt has left the game. Hitler[AoE]: *? Eisenhower: ** now we need some1 to join tru_m4n has joined the game. tru_m4n: hi all T0J0: hey Stalin: sup Churchill: hi tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff! tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY ** I GOT NUKES Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets T0J0: * is nukes? T0J0: holy **holyhoyl*! T0J0 has been eliminated.* The Allied team has won the game! Eisenhower: awesome! Churchill: gg noobs no re T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck T0J0 has left the game. Eisenhower has left the game. Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for **** Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss tru_m4n: l8r all benny~tow: bye Churchill: l8r Stalin: fock u all tru_m4n: shut up commie lol tru_m4n has left the game. benny~tow: lololol u commie Churchill: ROFL Churchill: bye commie Churchill has left the game. benny~tow has left the game. Stalin: i hate u all fags Stalin has left the game. paTTon: lol no1 is left paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep paTTon has been eliminated. paTTon: o ***! paTTon has left the game.*

04-16-2007, 08:26 AM	#30 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,563 OS: winxp pro sp2	Re: Political Jokes Dan Rather, Katie Couric and a U.S. Marine are captured by Al Qeida in Iraq. The terrorists grant them each one final wish. Rather says that he is a Texan and could use a good bowl of chili, so all could know he was a Texan to the end. Katie asked for a camera, so that she could report the story and all of her fans would know that she stuck with the story. The Marine asked for the terrorist to kick him in the ***. "Why do you want that?" "Just do it, OK?" So he kicks the Marine in the AS$ who tumbles and comes up with a 9 mm and shoots him, grabs his machine gun and kills the other terrorists and they escape. On their freedom flight, the reporters asked him why he requested to be kicked in the a$$. He said "Because I didn't want you guys to report that I was the aggressor." __________________ I won a nobel prize too!!

06-03-2007, 03:36 PM	#31 (permalink)
~~muttbob~~ Register user Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: SW Michigan Posts: 19 OS: Win98SE	Re: Political Jokes President Bush,Dick Cheney,and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.Cheney looks at Bush, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Bush shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Rumsfeld says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at copilot and says, "I could throw them all out the window and make millions of people happy."

06-07-2007, 06:35 PM	#32 (permalink)
yustr Asst. Manager, The Conversation Pit Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Connecticut shore Posts: 5,971 OS: XP Pro My System	Re: Political Jokes Off color so stop reading now if you're easily offended.... The Trojan condom company has just come out with a new condom. They call it the George W...it's for little pr***s who don't know when to withdraw. __________________ If there are lawyers or politicians involved, logic may be a very poor tool for reaching a conclusion.

06-07-2007, 08:57 PM	#33 (permalink)
Nightsky Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 1 OS: XP Home	Re: Political Jokes G'Day, I think this one is a beauti Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that Three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the colour ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.? Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?" __________________ Last one out of the Tunnel,turn the light off

08-17-2007, 01:22 PM	#34 (permalink)
kel2000 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Denver Posts: 5 OS: XP Pro	Re: Political Jokes How many Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb? Three... One to hold the bulb and two to drink enough to make the room spin. __________________ - kel - ------------------- MCNE CCNA MCSE

01-28-2008, 06:53 AM	#36 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,563 OS: winxp pro sp2	Re: Political Jokes G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. > As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a > word was spoken. > > The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it > would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one > who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave. > > Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary > will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse." > > The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?" Bush > replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a > whorehouse smells like." __________________ I won a nobel prize too!!

02-28-2008, 12:06 PM	#37 (permalink)
ashumann12 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Alabama-usa Posts: 3,945 OS: Vista Ultimate SP1 (64bit) My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Political Jokes Subject: Dear Abby Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job eight years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and B.S. with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless ------------- Dear Clueless, Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman - you don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one. __________________ Adam Sr.

03-17-2008, 01:01 PM	#38 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,563 OS: winxp pro sp2	Re: Political Jokes Did you hear about KFC's new Hilary Bucket? 2 small breasts 2 large thighs and a left wing __________________ I won a nobel prize too!!

03-17-2008, 11:12 PM	#39 (permalink)
Chode TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,276 OS: Windows XP Pro	Re: Political Jokes President Bush was walking along the beach one day when he tripped over a hard object stuck in the sand. Looking down, he saw what looked like an old oil lamp, so he picked it up and started brushing the sand away. Suddenly, a large plume of smoke spewed from the lamp, and in an instant a short, dumpy Genie stood before the President. "Yo!", said the Genie, "Behold! I am the Genie of the lamp, yadda, yadda, what's your wish? And before you spout off about three wishes, that ain't the way it works; you get one. And I ain't much of a Genie so keep it small." The President thought a while and then replied, "Well, I'm concerned about my legacy. I want to be remembered as the man who led the nation through tough economic times to the strongest economic recovery in the country's history. I want to be remembered as the President that won the war in Iraq and defeated international terrorism, the President who united the American people across partisan lines, the President who..." "Whoa, whoa! Slow down buddy!" shouted the Genie. "Look! Ya gotta remember, I ain't such a hotshot Genie! I don't do the big stuff!" Have ya got another wish?' "If I can't have the legacy I want, I guess I'd like to see the Houston Astros win the World Series." responded Bush. The Genie was quiet a moment, then he said, "Let's talk some more about that legacy." __________________ Sweet! Last edited by Chode; 03-17-2008 at 11:13 PM.

05-02-2008, 09:28 PM	#40 (permalink)
ashumann12 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Alabama-usa Posts: 3,945 OS: Vista Ultimate SP1 (64bit) My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Political Jokes The Haircut This is a litle long, but good. The Haircut One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful'. Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress. Elections are coming. Vote carefully this year. __________________ Adam Sr.