Joke Thread - Page 41

**carsey** · 06-10-2007, 11:47 AM

Haha, great Jokes

**sandman55** · 06-12-2007, 05:59 AM

The Old Timers
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

**Go The Power** · 06-12-2007, 06:02 AM

HAHA very funny I like that one

**carsey** · 06-12-2007, 07:06 AM

Lol...good one

**TheMatt** · 06-12-2007, 07:35 AM

Nice.

**Joefireline** · 06-12-2007, 02:04 PM

Lol..

JohnthePilot · 06-12-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandman55

The Old Timers
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

That reminds me of the joke about the....drat, I've forgotten it.

shunter · 06-12-2007, 11:13 PM

Whats Brown and sticky? ........ A Stick :s

**sandman55** · 06-13-2007, 06:45 AM

John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a
kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sell 1 kg packets of
butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager
what to do.

John walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out
there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter." As he finished
saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him,
so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager finished the deal and later said to John, "You almost got
yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed
with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I
like it a lot. Which place are you from?"

John replied, "I'm from Mexico, Sir."

"Oh, really? Why did you leave Mexico?" asked the manager.

John replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up
there."

"My wife is from Mexico," the manager said.

John replied, "Which team did she play for?"

JohnthePilot · 06-13-2007, 08:52 AM

LOL. I like that. I often wish I could think of quick answers like that. Usually about ten minutes later I think "Why didn't I say..."

**carsey** · 06-13-2007, 08:53 AM

lol. good one.

**TheMatt** · 06-13-2007, 09:46 AM

Nice.

**speedster123** · 06-14-2007, 05:12 AM

Bud Abbot & Lou Costello:
WINDOWS SHUTDOWN ISSUES

Costello: I got myself a fancy new computer with Win98.

Abbot: That’s terrific, Lou.

Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!!

Abbot: You will in time.

Costello: That’s exactly why I am here to see you.

Abbot: Oh?

Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.

Abbot: Well, I don’t know—

Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you’re going to train me.

Abbot: Really?

Costello: Uh-huh. And I am here for my first lesson.

Abbot: OK, Lou. What do want to know?

Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.

Abbot: That’s true.

Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?

Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then—

Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.

Abbot: I know, you press the Start button—

Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.

Abbot: I did.

Costello: When?

Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.

Costello: Why should I press the Start button?

Abbot: To shut off the computer.

Costello: I press Start to stop.

Abbot: Well Start doesn’t actually stop the computer.

Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.

Abbot: Start

Costello: Start what?

Abbot: Start button.

Costello: Start button to do what?

Abbot: Shut down.

Costello: You don’t have to get rude!

Abbot: No, no, no! That’s not what I meant.

Costello: Then say what you mean.

Abbot: To shut down the computer, press—

Costello: Don’t say, “Start!”

Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?

Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button, even the Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.

Abbot: But that’s what you do.

Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.

Abbot: Don’t be ridiculous.

Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it’s about time we started this conversion.

Abbot: What are you talking about?

Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR-
BARMAID SAYS "WHY THE LONG FACE?"

**sandman55** · 06-14-2007, 07:16 AM

:) Good one, I remember Abbot and Costello when I was a kid.

**carsey** · 06-14-2007, 07:20 AM

Thats great that Joke. It would be fun to prank MS with it

Also, thats why there isnt 'Start' in Vista. Finally they realised, it took a while

**Go The Power** · 06-14-2007, 07:22 AM

LOL that is funny.

It reminds me of the time when my Aunty stayed with us and she tried turning on the computer but she was pushing the DELL logo on the monitor

JohnthePilot · 06-14-2007, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carsey

Thats great that Joke. It would be fun to prank MS with it

Also, thats why there isnt 'Start' in Vista. Finally they realised, it took a while

There isn't a STOP button either.

Perhaps they should have called it something like MENU.

**carsey** · 06-14-2007, 08:00 AM

Yep, a start on the left, and a finish on the right.

ebackhus · 06-14-2007, 08:15 AM

A friend of mine modified his Windows 98 to have a Stop button instead of Start. Certianly made it unique.

**karusho** · 06-14-2007, 07:51 PM

Why I'm so tired

Now it all makes sense!

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

Threre are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the civilian work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And your're sitting at your computer reading jokes.

06-10-2007, 11:47 AM	#801 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Haha, great Jokes __________________ Submit New Articles Here

06-12-2007, 05:59 AM	#802 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,514 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: Joke Thread The Old Timers An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

06-12-2007, 06:02 AM	#803 (permalink)
Go The Power Moderator, Microsoft Support Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Australia Posts: 10,953 OS: Windows XP Home SP2 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread HAHA very funny I like that one __________________

06-12-2007, 07:06 AM	#804 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Lol...good one __________________ Submit New Articles Here

06-12-2007, 07:35 AM	#805 (permalink)
TheMatt TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2006 Location: Boston Posts: 13,701 OS: Win 3.1, 98, NT 4.0, XP Debian 4.0, Kubuntu 6.06 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Joke Thread Nice. __________________ - Matt M - KB1OSC - Folding@Home 85015 [url="http://www.techsupportforum.com/hardware-support/"] If TSF has helped you, please consider donating. If I have stopped responding to a thread, feel free to send me a PM with a link to the thread. It is advisable to subscribe to threads so you will receive updates when replies are posted. You can subscribe to threads from the "Thread Tools" Menu. »Memtest86 »Prime95 »UBCD »SpeedFan »NHC Personal »Everest »Sandra »PC Wizard »RivaTuner »ATi Tool Click here for Useful Articles and Guides

06-12-2007, 02:04 PM	#806 (permalink)
Joefireline Enthusiastic TSFer~Joseph Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Portishead (Bristol) England Posts: 5,319 OS: Windows 7 64bit(Desktop) / XP Home SP2(laptop) My System	Re: Joke Thread Lol..

06-12-2007, 11:13 PM	#808 (permalink)
shunter Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 118 OS: XP	Re: Joke Thread Whats Brown and sticky? ........ A Stick :s

06-13-2007, 06:45 AM	#809 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,514 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: Joke Thread John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sell 1 kg packets of butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager what to do. John walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter." As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager finished the deal and later said to John, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot. Which place are you from?" John replied, "I'm from Mexico, Sir." "Oh, really? Why did you leave Mexico?" asked the manager. John replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there." "My wife is from Mexico," the manager said. John replied, "Which team did she play for?"

06-13-2007, 08:52 AM	#810 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread LOL. I like that. I often wish I could think of quick answers like that. Usually about ten minutes later I think "Why didn't I say..." __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015

06-13-2007, 08:53 AM	#811 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread lol. good one. __________________ Submit New Articles Here

06-13-2007, 09:46 AM	#812 (permalink)
TheMatt TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2006 Location: Boston Posts: 13,701 OS: Win 3.1, 98, NT 4.0, XP Debian 4.0, Kubuntu 6.06 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Joke Thread Nice. __________________ - Matt M - KB1OSC - Folding@Home 85015 [url="http://www.techsupportforum.com/hardware-support/"] If TSF has helped you, please consider donating. If I have stopped responding to a thread, feel free to send me a PM with a link to the thread. It is advisable to subscribe to threads so you will receive updates when replies are posted. You can subscribe to threads from the "Thread Tools" Menu. »Memtest86 »Prime95 »UBCD »SpeedFan »NHC Personal »Everest »Sandra »PC Wizard »RivaTuner »ATi Tool Click here for Useful Articles and Guides

06-14-2007, 05:12 AM	#813 (permalink)
speedster123 Mentor Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: United States-New York-Long Island Posts: 5,187 OS: xp pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Bud Abbot & Lou Costello: WINDOWS SHUTDOWN ISSUES Costello: I got myself a fancy new computer with Win98. Abbot: That’s terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!! Abbot: You will in time. Costello: That’s exactly why I am here to see you. Abbot: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbot: Well, I don’t know— Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you’re going to train me. Abbot: Really? Costello: Uh-huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbot: OK, Lou. What do want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbot: That’s true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then— Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off. Abbot: I know, you press the Start button— Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do. Abbot: I did. Costello: When? Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button. Costello: Why should I press the Start button? Abbot: To shut off the computer. Costello: I press Start to stop. Abbot: Well Start doesn’t actually stop the computer. Costello: I knew it! So what do I press. Abbot: Start Costello: Start what? Abbot: Start button. Costello: Start button to do what? Abbot: Shut down. Costello: You don’t have to get rude! Abbot: No, no, no! That’s not what I meant. Costello: Then say what you mean. Abbot: To shut down the computer, press— Costello: Don’t say, “Start!” Abbot: Then what do you want me to say? Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button, even the Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop. Abbot: But that’s what you do. Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights. Abbot: Don’t be ridiculous. Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it’s about time we started this conversion. Abbot: What are you talking about? Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye. A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR- BARMAID SAYS "WHY THE LONG FACE?" __________________ Last edited by speedster123; 06-14-2007 at 05:15 AM.

06-14-2007, 07:16 AM	#814 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,514 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: Joke Thread :) Good one, I remember Abbot and Costello when I was a kid.

06-14-2007, 07:20 AM	#815 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Thats great that Joke. It would be fun to prank MS with it Also, thats why there isnt 'Start' in Vista. Finally they realised, it took a while __________________ Submit New Articles Here

06-14-2007, 07:22 AM	#816 (permalink)
Go The Power Moderator, Microsoft Support Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Australia Posts: 10,953 OS: Windows XP Home SP2 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread LOL that is funny. It reminds me of the time when my Aunty stayed with us and she tried turning on the computer but she was pushing the DELL logo on the monitor __________________

06-14-2007, 08:00 AM	#818 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Yep, a start on the left, and a finish on the right. __________________ Submit New Articles Here

06-14-2007, 08:15 AM	#819 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,208 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	Re: Joke Thread A friend of mine modified his Windows 98 to have a Stop button instead of Start. Certianly made it unique. __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.

06-14-2007, 07:51 PM	#820 (permalink)
karusho TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 1,217 OS: Windows XP SP2, Windows Vista SP1, Ubuntu 8.04 My System	Re: Joke Thread Why I'm so tired Now it all makes sense! For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. Threre are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the civilian work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And your're sitting at your computer reading jokes. __________________ Laptop Specs: Sony VAIO VGN-NR160E dual-booting Vista Ultimate SP1 and Ubuntu 8.04 "Hardy Heron"