Joke Thread - Page 34

**dm01** · 04-17-2007, 01:25 PM

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg."

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and punched him as hard as he could in the nose. The Englishman fell to the ground and was howling in agony and holding his nose for thirty minutes.

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to punch you."

The Scotsman said, "Keep the lousy egg."

**karusho** · 04-17-2007, 01:53 PM

I don't get that.

JohnthePilot · 04-17-2007, 01:56 PM

Glas will.

**Glaswegian** · 04-17-2007, 03:42 PM

lol - I like it!

**carsey** · 04-17-2007, 03:46 PM

Thats a good one.

**TheMatt** · 04-20-2007, 11:02 PM

Nice!

**Joefireline** · 04-21-2007, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dm01

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg."

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and punched him as hard as he could in the nose. The Englishman fell to the ground and was howling in agony and holding his nose for thirty minutes.

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to punch you."

The Scotsman said, "Keep the lousy egg."

Haha! That's great!

JohnthePilot · 04-21-2007, 01:16 PM

Do you think someone ought to explain it to Karusho?

**karusho** · 04-22-2007, 04:41 PM

Microsoft's greatest joke: Windows ME.

JohnthePilot · 04-22-2007, 04:49 PM

LOL. As long as Vista doesn't turn out to be even bigger.

**carsey** · 04-22-2007, 04:53 PM

Micro$oft = worlds biggest joke by far

JohnthePilot · 04-22-2007, 04:58 PM

It's easy to knock MS, but they've done more for computing than anyone else. If they are so bad why have they got so many customers worldwide?

**carsey** · 04-22-2007, 05:04 PM

Im a linux fan. I take every oppertunity to knock M$ about anything. its my reputation round here

How many people walk through the doors totally annoyed to hell about their OS not working and having about 50,000 different errors?? Who releases dodgy software that hasnt been properly tested??

JohnthePilot · 04-22-2007, 06:13 PM

That because users are demanding it as soon as they hear about something new. Look at how many people want to try Vista. Anyway, we are getting off topic.

**karusho** · 04-22-2007, 08:58 PM

Would somebody please explain dm01's joke about the Englishman and the Scotsman to me?

**-=Rousseau=-** · 04-22-2007, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karusho

Would somebody please explain dm01's joke about the Englishman and the Scotsman to me?

The Scotsman only made the deal in the first place so he could punch the Englishman. He didn't want the egg back.

ebackhus · 04-23-2007, 11:51 AM

I think we've had a few of that sort throughout this thread. It's hilarious seeing these jokes about English vs Scots!

**Spatcher** · 04-23-2007, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dm01

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg."

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and punched him as hard as he could in the nose. The Englishman fell to the ground and was howling in agony and holding his nose for thirty minutes.

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to punch you."

The Scotsman said, "Keep the lousy egg."

I don't get it either...........

eminema · 04-23-2007, 12:57 PM

I get it!

JohnthePilot · 04-23-2007, 03:40 PM

The englishman got it

04-17-2007, 01:25 PM	#661 (permalink)
dm01 Moderator: Design Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Richmond, B.C.; Canada Posts: 1,411 OS: Windows XP [Version 5.1.2600] SP3 \| Ubuntu Jaunty Jackalope \| Windows 7 BETA My System	Re: Joke Thread There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg." The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and punched him as hard as he could in the nose. The Englishman fell to the ground and was howling in agony and holding his nose for thirty minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to punch you." The Scotsman said, "Keep the lousy egg." __________________ Validate your Markup Validate your CSS Notepad++ Please use [html], [php], and [code] when posting code or markup. I do not help by Private Message or e-mail. If for some reason I have over-looked a reply to a thread that I have previously replied to, then send me a message.

04-17-2007, 01:53 PM	#662 (permalink)
karusho TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 1,217 OS: Windows XP SP2, Windows Vista SP1, Ubuntu 8.04 My System	Re: Joke Thread I don't get that.

04-17-2007, 01:56 PM	#663 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread Glas will. __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015

04-17-2007, 03:42 PM	#664 (permalink)
Glaswegian Moderator/ Rangemaster TSF Academy; Analyst, Security Team; Oor Wullie; TSF Surgeon and Resident Comic Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Glasgow Posts: 25,347 OS: Win XP Pro SP3 / Win 7 Pro My System Blog Entries: 10	Re: Joke Thread lol - I like it! __________________ Iain - Defender of the Haggis and all things Scottish. I don't help by PM - post in the Forums. PC Safety & Security::PC running a bit slow?::Donate::Photographers Corner

04-17-2007, 03:46 PM	#665 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Thats a good one. __________________ Submit New Articles Here

04-20-2007, 11:02 PM	#666 (permalink)
TheMatt TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2006 Location: Boston Posts: 13,701 OS: Win 3.1, 98, NT 4.0, XP Debian 4.0, Kubuntu 6.06 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Joke Thread Nice! __________________ - Matt M - KB1OSC - Folding@Home 85015 [url="http://www.techsupportforum.com/hardware-support/"] If TSF has helped you, please consider donating. If I have stopped responding to a thread, feel free to send me a PM with a link to the thread. It is advisable to subscribe to threads so you will receive updates when replies are posted. You can subscribe to threads from the "Thread Tools" Menu. »Memtest86 »Prime95 »UBCD »SpeedFan »NHC Personal »Everest »Sandra »PC Wizard »RivaTuner »ATi Tool Click here for Useful Articles and Guides

04-21-2007, 01:16 PM	#668 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread Do you think someone ought to explain it to Karusho? __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015

04-22-2007, 04:41 PM	#669 (permalink)
karusho TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 1,217 OS: Windows XP SP2, Windows Vista SP1, Ubuntu 8.04 My System	Re: Joke Thread Microsoft's greatest joke: Windows ME.

04-22-2007, 04:49 PM	#670 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread LOL. As long as Vista doesn't turn out to be even bigger. __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015

04-22-2007, 04:53 PM	#671 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Micro$oft = worlds biggest joke by far __________________ Submit New Articles Here

04-22-2007, 04:58 PM	#672 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread It's easy to knock MS, but they've done more for computing than anyone else. If they are so bad why have they got so many customers worldwide? __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015

04-22-2007, 05:04 PM	#673 (permalink)
carsey Moderator, TSF Articles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hunwick, Co. Durham England Posts: 10,671 OS: XP Pro SP3 My System	Re: Joke Thread Im a linux fan. I take every oppertunity to knock M$ about anything. its my reputation round here How many people walk through the doors totally annoyed to hell about their OS not working and having about 50,000 different errors?? Who releases dodgy software that hasnt been properly tested?? __________________ Submit New Articles Here

04-22-2007, 06:13 PM	#674 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread That because users are demanding it as soon as they hear about something new. Look at how many people want to try Vista. Anyway, we are getting off topic. __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015

04-22-2007, 08:58 PM	#675 (permalink)
karusho TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 1,217 OS: Windows XP SP2, Windows Vista SP1, Ubuntu 8.04 My System	Re: Joke Thread Would somebody please explain dm01's joke about the Englishman and the Scotsman to me?

04-23-2007, 11:51 AM	#677 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,208 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	Re: Joke Thread I think we've had a few of that sort throughout this thread. It's hilarious seeing these jokes about English vs Scots! __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.

04-23-2007, 12:57 PM	#679 (permalink)
eminema Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 15 OS: XP Home	Re: Joke Thread I get it!

04-23-2007, 03:40 PM	#680 (permalink)
JohnthePilot Manager, TSF Articles Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cheltenham, near Wales. Posts: 30,867 OS: XP Home SP3, PCLinux, Vista Home Premium SP1 My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Joke Thread The englishman got it __________________ Submit New Articles Here If you feel that TSF has helped you please make a donationand help to keep the forum free Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon Folding@Home - Team 85015