Walmart Wine‏

**Jason** · 05-31-2009, 10:09 AM

This news should make all of you wine loving people very happy!

Wal-Mart announced that by the summer of 2009, it will begin offering Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.

The world's largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at a price in the $2 to $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts but, "There is a market for inexpensive wine." said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. "However, branding will be very important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.

**Dragoen** · 05-31-2009, 12:17 PM

**WereBo** · 05-31-2009, 05:26 PM

Ditto

.....

spokanescott09 · 05-31-2009, 10:59 PM

Walmart = EVIL! :)

**Cathy95820** · 06-05-2009, 03:00 PM

My goodness! Jason, you come up with the greatest stuff, hats off!

**zuluclayman** · 06-05-2009, 06:44 PM

You missed out on Chateau Cardboard - the nickname in Oz for cask wine

kisezr00k · 06-09-2009, 11:47 AM

My ‘1 day’ Employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very lou d,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,
yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied,

‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

**WereBo** · 06-09-2009, 12:50 PM

....

(I don't know why I'm laughing, I'd probably say something very similar, under those circumstances

)

yustr · 06-11-2009, 12:47 PM

Chateau DaFeet

05-31-2009, 10:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
Jason Faugh a ballagh Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Pasco, FL Posts: 8,476 OS: Windows Vista My System Blog Entries: 2	Walmart Wine‏ This news should make all of you wine loving people very happy! Wal-Mart announced that by the summer of 2009, it will begin offering Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at a price in the $2 to $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts but, "There is a market for inexpensive wine." said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. "However, branding will be very important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were: 10. Chateau Traileur Parc 9. White Trashfindel 8. Big Red Gulp 7. World Championship Riesling 6. NASCARbernet 5. Chef Boyardeaux 4. Peanut Noir 3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar 2. Grape Expectations 1. Nasti Spumante The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel). P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat. __________________ Posting Tips \| Advice for New People \| Common Fixes \| Agus na damnaithe fágtha gan focal Glaoigh ormsa i measc na naomh

05-31-2009, 12:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dragoen TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Harrisburg, PA Posts: 1,024 OS: Windows Vista Home Premium (6.0, Build 6001) My System	Re: Walmart Wine‏ __________________ Dragoen ========================================================= Just because we can, doesn't mean we should...

05-31-2009, 05:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
WereBo Resident Village Idiot Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SE London, UK Posts: 14,475 OS: Win-7, XP-Pro SP3 My System	Re: Walmart Wine‏ Ditto ..... __________________ I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

05-31-2009, 10:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
spokanescott09 Registered User Join Date: May 2009 Location: Spokane, WA Posts: 32 OS: Vista	Re: Walmart Wine‏ Walmart = EVIL! :) __________________ Thanks, Scott

06-05-2009, 03:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cathy95820 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 2,368 OS: Windows XP Svs.Pk 3	Re: Walmart Wine‏ My goodness! Jason, you come up with the greatest stuff, hats off! __________________ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * We are but a moment's sunlight fading in the grass... * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

06-05-2009, 06:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
zuluclayman Design Team Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Newcastle, Australia Posts: 3,049 OS: Windows Vista Home Premium My System	Re: Walmart Wine‏ You missed out on Chateau Cardboard - the nickname in Oz for cask wine __________________ AutoGordianKnot Audacity K-Lite codec pack Irfan View GSpot TSF Photographer's Corner

06-09-2009, 11:47 AM	#7 (permalink)
kisezr00k Registered User Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: McEwen, TN Posts: 18 OS: Windows XP and Vista	Re: Walmart Wine‏ My ‘1 day’ Employment So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very lou d, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?' So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.' My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work. __________________ *Have comp, will puter...*

06-09-2009, 12:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
WereBo Resident Village Idiot Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SE London, UK Posts: 14,475 OS: Win-7, XP-Pro SP3 My System	Re: Walmart Wine‏ .... (I don't know why I'm laughing, I'd probably say something very similar, under those circumstances ) __________________ I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

06-11-2009, 12:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
yustr Asst. Manager, The Conversation Pit Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Connecticut shore Posts: 6,050 OS: XP Pro My System	Re: Walmart Wine‏ Chateau DaFeet __________________ If there are lawyers or politicians involved, logic may be a very poor tool for reaching a conclusion.