The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! cont... - Page 21

**WereBo** · 03-30-2009, 04:58 AM

Awwww DC, I'm so sorry to read of your plight. There's only so much you can do for parents and it seems like yours would try the patience of a saint!

I found that with my Mum (89) who's going senile. I was trying to do everything for her but all I received was guilt-trips for not doing more. I took a couple of steps back and let the Welfare people step in to care for her and do the basics - Shopping, cleaning, meals etc. They're trained to deal with such folks and know how to handle them properly.

It turned out that the more I was doing, the less they bothered to do, assuming that I could handle everything, whereas she's now needing a team of people for her care. She refuses to go into a Residential Home (which I can't really blame her for), saying the only way she's leaving her house is feet-first in her box. To be honest, I'd sooner see her have 12 months happy in her own home, than 5 years miserable and depressed in an Old Folks Home.

Now, I go visit her a couple of times a week and she's great. She has folks to care for her and I'm now able to sit and chat and do some gardening for her occasionally.

Sometimes, you have to step away to do the most good. It seems cruel, but its a better kindness in the long-run.

**sandman55** · 03-30-2009, 05:45 AM

Hi DC it is sad it has come to this but you have to think of your health too. WereBo's advice sounds pretty good but it depends how things work in the USA I guess. What would the Government do if you were not there, would they help?
We had to put my Mother-in-law into a home in the end. We kept her in her own home for as long as we could but in the end she was a danger to herself, she tried to replace a light bulb on a standard lamp and unscrewed the fitting when the power was on. Her mind was really going and it was the hardest thing my wife had to do but it had to be done.

**sandman55** · 03-30-2009, 05:46 AM

Sorry double post.

**gistek** · 03-30-2009, 08:19 AM

DC, Check with legal aid and see what documentation you need for your parents to be declared incompetent. Once you have that information you can decide if you want to take power of attorney for them or let the state step in. Depending on how much they're worth, you may end up using all their value (money, home, etc) to care for them, but at least you wont be in so much physical danger. (They'll still be able to pull the emotional strings, but if you're not hurting, it's easier to take.)

My uncle had a similar, but not quite as bad, problem with my grandmother. He took her to a nearby assisted living home and told her it was a vacation place. By the time he got home from his vacation she was so much in love with the place that she wanted to stay there all the time. So he let her.

Kinda the Tom Sawyer method of convincing. Remember how he managed to get the other kids to whitewash the fence? They ended up paying for the privilege!

Well, gotta go clean up after yesterday's tornado. We're ok. Lost a few shingles and lots of branches down. Some patio furniture damaged and the hail ripped holes in some screens. The trailer park about 1.5 miles west had 5 or 6 homes destroyed, and another nearby trailer park had enough damage that they needed to do a search and rescue operation.

I documented wind damage from three different directions, so I'm sure the weather people will declare it a tornado.

**WereBo** · 03-30-2009, 08:56 AM

WOW! Sorry to hear that Gistek, I'm glad you're OK and unscathed. I'd heard of the 30" - 40" of snow in Kansas, but there's been nothing on our news about a tornado

**asidman** · 03-30-2009, 02:41 PM

Doc i need you to take out my "feel bad" sense....DC, Gistek, all the best...

**sandman55** · 03-31-2009, 05:31 AM

Wow gistek you guys really have to put up with some weather

but at least you are safe.

**zuluclayman** · 03-31-2009, 05:44 AM

weather is wild and woolley here at the moment - not as bad as yours Gistek but howling wind and horizontal rain bucketing down - floods a couple of hours up the coast this evening.

**sandman55** · 03-31-2009, 05:49 AM

Your in the wrong state zuluclayman in S.A. we are having lovely weather at the moment.

**zuluclayman** · 03-31-2009, 06:39 AM

yeah - we have been having beautiful weather for last week or so too - sunny warm days (up to 32 degrees C), slightly cooler nights but now - well as in above post, yuk! - better get it out of its system this week

for next week I'm at camp (hiking, canoeing, rock climbing and camping in tents in bush) with school for 4 days.

**gistek** · 03-31-2009, 07:03 AM

National Weather Service declared it to be an EF1 tornado with a 200 yard main path and wind damage from associated downbursts at least 10 miles long. I don't remember off hand how long they said the touch down path was. They're still investigating to determine the width of the associated downburst path, but it's at least 1.5 miles.

The owner sent a contractor to re-shingle the roof and see what can be done about the siding. I have the feeling we'll have to take care of any screen repairs, but I'm pretty good at sewing and there are two local stores that carry screening, so that won't be too much of a problem.

We're also talking about removing a tree in the back yard. Since we've been here the tree has lost at least 1/4 of it's branches.

If I get a chance later today I'll post some photos of the damage and pop a link in here.

Meanwhile, my mom and brother are visiting. They have to go to Doylestown to court over child support issues. No-one in the family has had any contact with my nieces for 10 years, so my brother may file breach of visitation charges against his ex.

Oh, and I have to finish putting the CAP newsletter together today. (Hopefully I'll get an article about the mini-encampment earlier this month so I'll have a front page article.)

Gonna be a fun week!

**Direct Current** · 03-31-2009, 07:39 PM

Where did everone go, is there a dentis in the house??? Can I have a spoonge bath by some fun loving Gash Girls? I'll pay extra. I feel better except when I do this!!! Anyone for more rain and thunderstorms. It been raining sence 12noon and more on the way!!!

**Direct Current** · 03-31-2009, 09:59 PM

Gistek you sound like your have some bad weather to. We have had several downburst here and supposely Wensday and thursday will be bad even worse here I think we have had another 5 to 6 inch on top of what we have already had here. we have one whole county under water here.

Well let me see if I can find thread 91 werebo was tell to found for them pretty lights.

**gistek** · 04-01-2009, 10:42 AM

Yeah. Yesterday the favorite game in my area was Pick-Up-Sticks!

Sorry about not getting the pics up. I did get two plastic bins full of kindling wood for camping. It's raining today, but I'll probably start chopping and sawing the larger stuff tomorrow.

**gistek** · 04-01-2009, 02:13 PM

If I'm doing this right, here's a link to my FaceBook tornado photo album.

http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=1257828291

If it doesn't work, let me know and I'll try to figure out how to make it work.

**asidman** · 04-01-2009, 03:03 PM

hi gistek, couldn't see them, but if you go to your photos and then click on the album, look at the bottom for something like this...
Untitled-2.jpg

**Direct Current** · 04-01-2009, 08:23 PM

Any one have squent eye's, so I can see the writing on the wall.

Gistek, the weather is is starting to get rough again, even Hansom jump in the car and did not want to get out.

I have written a letter to their Dr. in asking advice, I hate to say it but I will have to do something. I am going to try to get an appointment with their Dr. and seek his advice, Then take it from there. Mom jump on me again today and dare me to touch her. So I wheel myself into my room and change close and went to eat at waffle house for a while. When I came back she acted like nothing had happen. Dad said I was mad at her and blame me for all of her problems. Your right I need to do something. Maybe if I can get someone to come in and work with them for a few days a week, it would help me out, But I will wait til I talk with the DR.

Gistek good luck on getting to mess clean up. last tornato we had here was an EF3. We have to tornato session here.

Well better go wash up, I have to go to the Dr. for me in the morning and then the Dentist tomorrow afternoon. you all be good, be wise and be smart.

**Direct Current** · 04-01-2009, 10:28 PM

hay Sandy, asidman, i need a good joke. BTW has anyone seen my leg remote, for some reason my leg keeps kicking me in the butt!!!! BTW the movie "The Knowing" is very good

Ua.. sorry for the double thread, I'am just trying to relax, kindof strung out.

You all Take care everyone.

**Cathy95820** · 04-02-2009, 04:06 AM

Oh my gosh you guys! When I had internet available 24/7/365 I could stay up all night and day, playing at Club Pogo, visiting here, chatting there. Now that I have this new arrangement (daughters phone line, my internet provider), I assured her I would not "tie" up her telephone (although she sends Elizabeth over to play at PBS Kids.org LOL) until I know they are asleep over there and then be offline by morning when they wake up. OK here's the oh my gosh part, I am having a hard time staying awake and enthusiastic about "getting online". ROFLMAO, but as you see I am bound and determined to make the best of the situation and get "with" it.

Maybe the article Jason submitted Internet Usage Drops 80% is the same thing I am experiencing? I definately went through withdrawl cause I think this absense for me was the longest I have gone without. I am also a relative newcomer to the net with my first experience ever being around 1999/2000 and not having internet in my house till maybe 2003 or 2004 using dinosaur computers making the whole experience very trying to say the least.

To DC:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direct Current

the steel pipe mom hit me with

I am sorry to keep this subject going, but wanted to voice a real concern. You mentioned that mom had turned the whole assault thing into a sort of defend herself situation and that she accused you of hitting/smacking/whatever her on the arm. OH MY GOSH I am very worried for you especially if she has your father also believing this.

I wish you had (LOLOL and you probably wish so too) a wifee or a caregiver or someone else living there to be witness to the fact that you are not harming anyone!

Perhaps with the parents age/ailments and your disabilities you all COULD qualify for a choreworker. It wouldn't cost you and am sure would sure help relieve the load you carry my friend.

OK end of lecture.....hope all is looking sunny......................

p.s. duhhhhhh I just re-read your last submission and see that you are already investigating my suggestion.....thats me, day late, dollar short lolol

**WereBo** · 04-02-2009, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Maybe the article Jason submitted Internet Usage Drops 80% is the same thing I am experiencing?

Errrmmm... Cathy, that was Jason's 'April Fool' thingy

(I hope!

)

03-30-2009, 04:58 AM	#401 (permalink)
WereBo Resident Village Idiot Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SE London, UK Posts: 14,390 OS: Win-7, XP-Pro SP3 My System	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Awwww DC, I'm so sorry to read of your plight. There's only so much you can do for parents and it seems like yours would try the patience of a saint! I found that with my Mum (89) who's going senile. I was trying to do everything for her but all I received was guilt-trips for not doing more. I took a couple of steps back and let the Welfare people step in to care for her and do the basics - Shopping, cleaning, meals etc. They're trained to deal with such folks and know how to handle them properly. It turned out that the more I was doing, the less they bothered to do, assuming that I could handle everything, whereas she's now needing a team of people for her care. She refuses to go into a Residential Home (which I can't really blame her for), saying the only way she's leaving her house is feet-first in her box. To be honest, I'd sooner see her have 12 months happy in her own home, than 5 years miserable and depressed in an Old Folks Home. Now, I go visit her a couple of times a week and she's great. She has folks to care for her and I'm now able to sit and chat and do some gardening for her occasionally. Sometimes, you have to step away to do the most good. It seems cruel, but its a better kindness in the long-run. __________________ I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

03-30-2009, 05:45 AM	#402 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,515 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Hi DC it is sad it has come to this but you have to think of your health too. WereBo's advice sounds pretty good but it depends how things work in the USA I guess. What would the Government do if you were not there, would they help? We had to put my Mother-in-law into a home in the end. We kept her in her own home for as long as we could but in the end she was a danger to herself, she tried to replace a light bulb on a standard lamp and unscrewed the fitting when the power was on. Her mind was really going and it was the hardest thing my wife had to do but it had to be done. __________________ Charlotte at the beach

03-30-2009, 05:46 AM	#403 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,515 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Sorry double post. __________________ Charlotte at the beach

03-30-2009, 08:19 AM	#404 (permalink)
gistek Folding Along Join Date: May 2007 Location: PA, USA Posts: 1,896 OS: Bobbi=xp, sp3 Muse=Vista Home Premium	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh DC, Check with legal aid and see what documentation you need for your parents to be declared incompetent. Once you have that information you can decide if you want to take power of attorney for them or let the state step in. Depending on how much they're worth, you may end up using all their value (money, home, etc) to care for them, but at least you wont be in so much physical danger. (They'll still be able to pull the emotional strings, but if you're not hurting, it's easier to take.) My uncle had a similar, but not quite as bad, problem with my grandmother. He took her to a nearby assisted living home and told her it was a vacation place. By the time he got home from his vacation she was so much in love with the place that she wanted to stay there all the time. So he let her. Kinda the Tom Sawyer method of convincing. Remember how he managed to get the other kids to whitewash the fence? They ended up paying for the privilege! Well, gotta go clean up after yesterday's tornado. We're ok. Lost a few shingles and lots of branches down. Some patio furniture damaged and the hail ripped holes in some screens. The trailer park about 1.5 miles west had 5 or 6 homes destroyed, and another nearby trailer park had enough damage that they needed to do a search and rescue operation. I documented wind damage from three different directions, so I'm sure the weather people will declare it a tornado. __________________ I am not a computer professional, My advice comes from personal experience and/or friends who are computer professionals. Learn By Doing Un-versity Interested in Search and Rescue? Check out the Civil Air Patrol. Come Fold with us. TSF Folding@Home Team

03-30-2009, 08:56 AM	#405 (permalink)
WereBo Resident Village Idiot Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SE London, UK Posts: 14,390 OS: Win-7, XP-Pro SP3 My System	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh WOW! Sorry to hear that Gistek, I'm glad you're OK and unscathed. I'd heard of the 30" - 40" of snow in Kansas, but there's been nothing on our news about a tornado __________________ I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

03-30-2009, 02:41 PM	#406 (permalink)
asidman Will rule the World Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Port Elizabeth Posts: 4,537 OS: XP SP3, Vista SP1, Windows 7 RC My System	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Doc i need you to take out my "feel bad" sense....DC, Gistek, all the best... __________________ Submit New Articles Here Try before posting \| Read before posting \| Advice to New Visitors How to post a Screenshot \| Posting system specs \| Posting images (VERY NB)

03-31-2009, 05:31 AM	#407 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,515 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Wow gistek you guys really have to put up with some weather but at least you are safe. __________________ Charlotte at the beach

03-31-2009, 05:44 AM	#408 (permalink)
zuluclayman Design Team Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Newcastle, Australia Posts: 3,049 OS: Windows Vista Home Premium My System	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh weather is wild and woolley here at the moment - not as bad as yours Gistek but howling wind and horizontal rain bucketing down - floods a couple of hours up the coast this evening. __________________ AutoGordianKnot Audacity K-Lite codec pack Irfan View GSpot TSF Photographer's Corner

03-31-2009, 05:49 AM	#409 (permalink)
sandman55 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: May 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 5,515 OS: WinXP Pro SP3	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Your in the wrong state zuluclayman in S.A. we are having lovely weather at the moment. __________________ Charlotte at the beach

03-31-2009, 06:39 AM	#410 (permalink)
zuluclayman Design Team Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Newcastle, Australia Posts: 3,049 OS: Windows Vista Home Premium My System	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh yeah - we have been having beautiful weather for last week or so too - sunny warm days (up to 32 degrees C), slightly cooler nights but now - well as in above post, yuk! - better get it out of its system this week for next week I'm at camp (hiking, canoeing, rock climbing and camping in tents in bush) with school for 4 days. __________________ AutoGordianKnot Audacity K-Lite codec pack Irfan View GSpot TSF Photographer's Corner

03-31-2009, 07:03 AM	#411 (permalink)
gistek Folding Along Join Date: May 2007 Location: PA, USA Posts: 1,896 OS: Bobbi=xp, sp3 Muse=Vista Home Premium	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh National Weather Service declared it to be an EF1 tornado with a 200 yard main path and wind damage from associated downbursts at least 10 miles long. I don't remember off hand how long they said the touch down path was. They're still investigating to determine the width of the associated downburst path, but it's at least 1.5 miles. The owner sent a contractor to re-shingle the roof and see what can be done about the siding. I have the feeling we'll have to take care of any screen repairs, but I'm pretty good at sewing and there are two local stores that carry screening, so that won't be too much of a problem. We're also talking about removing a tree in the back yard. Since we've been here the tree has lost at least 1/4 of it's branches. If I get a chance later today I'll post some photos of the damage and pop a link in here. Meanwhile, my mom and brother are visiting. They have to go to Doylestown to court over child support issues. No-one in the family has had any contact with my nieces for 10 years, so my brother may file breach of visitation charges against his ex. Oh, and I have to finish putting the CAP newsletter together today. (Hopefully I'll get an article about the mini-encampment earlier this month so I'll have a front page article.) Gonna be a fun week! __________________ I am not a computer professional, My advice comes from personal experience and/or friends who are computer professionals. Learn By Doing Un-versity Interested in Search and Rescue? Check out the Civil Air Patrol. Come Fold with us. TSF Folding@Home Team

04-01-2009, 10:42 AM	#414 (permalink)
gistek Folding Along Join Date: May 2007 Location: PA, USA Posts: 1,896 OS: Bobbi=xp, sp3 Muse=Vista Home Premium	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh Yeah. Yesterday the favorite game in my area was Pick-Up-Sticks! Sorry about not getting the pics up. I did get two plastic bins full of kindling wood for camping. It's raining today, but I'll probably start chopping and sawing the larger stuff tomorrow. __________________ I am not a computer professional, My advice comes from personal experience and/or friends who are computer professionals. Learn By Doing Un-versity Interested in Search and Rescue? Check out the Civil Air Patrol. Come Fold with us. TSF Folding@Home Team

04-01-2009, 02:13 PM	#415 (permalink)
gistek Folding Along Join Date: May 2007 Location: PA, USA Posts: 1,896 OS: Bobbi=xp, sp3 Muse=Vista Home Premium	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh If I'm doing this right, here's a link to my FaceBook tornado photo album. http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=1257828291 If it doesn't work, let me know and I'll try to figure out how to make it work. __________________ I am not a computer professional, My advice comes from personal experience and/or friends who are computer professionals. Learn By Doing Un-versity Interested in Search and Rescue? Check out the Civil Air Patrol. Come Fold with us. TSF Folding@Home Team

04-01-2009, 03:03 PM	#416 (permalink)
asidman Will rule the World Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Port Elizabeth Posts: 4,537 OS: XP SP3, Vista SP1, Windows 7 RC My System	Re: The New TSF Surgery - All Welcome! v. Even more Flesh hi gistek, couldn't see them, but if you go to your photos and then click on the album, look at the bottom for something like this... Untitled-2.jpg __________________ Submit New Articles Here Try before posting \| Read before posting \| Advice to New Visitors How to post a Screenshot \| Posting system specs \| Posting images (VERY NB)