New Story Thread

**Glaswegian** · 02-21-2006, 06:45 AM

OK, let's start again - and see if we can make this one even more outlandish than the last one.

It was a cold February morning, and as I walked down the street, I noticed...

crazijoe · 02-21-2006, 06:52 AM

..a man selling Icecream on the corner in shorts and a t-shirt. Odd I thought. So I went up to the man and....

bry623 · 02-21-2006, 06:59 AM

...isn't it a little cold for ice cream? "I am not here for sales. I am here for you!" he replied. As I struggled to get free, two men and a woman jumped from the back of the truck. I fought hard against the restraining men when the lady injected something into my neck. As I drifted into blackness, the salesman said "Will he be OK, doctor?" "The captain has been through a lot. Let's get him out of here." When I came to I was........................

sinclair_tm · 02-21-2006, 08:07 AM

...was seated at the controls of a big mecha in the middle of space. something started blinking and beeping, i...

yustr · 02-21-2006, 08:20 AM

...said CUT. This is supposed to be a romantic comedy not some space alien mumbo jumbo. Now let's take it from the top. Katie read your lines with feelng this time, OK? Oh you don't have any. Well can you fake sincerity? Great then you're Oscar potential. She just looked at me with her one good eye and said ...

bry623 · 02-21-2006, 08:42 AM

.."Uh, duh, OK". God, where here parents married before or after they were married? She's lucky she's good in the sack, or I'd can her butt like Sicilian cans olive oil. She kept staring at me with that one good eye when I realized....

95five-0 · 02-21-2006, 08:50 AM

I could have gotten a much nicer person to work with. So I started to call my agent when...

**DumberDrummer** · 02-21-2006, 09:53 AM

I noticed two cameramen making out. I immediately thought to myself

bry623 · 02-21-2006, 10:32 AM

I have to quit. So I went job hunting. It didn't take me long to find a job. The pay was good but....

yustr · 02-21-2006, 11:15 AM

... having the monkeys sneer and geer at me as I cleaned their cage was irritating. Luckily I only had to do this in the mornings. In the afternoons I would be ...

sinclair_tm · 02-21-2006, 12:45 PM

...on the street corner painting for passers-by. it was desent money, and i hoped that my name would get out so i could...

ebackhus · 02-21-2006, 12:49 PM

Buy half of the planet. I had secretly begun hoarding money for this since I was 2. Now I was...

bry623 · 02-21-2006, 01:31 PM

20, but still painted like a 4 year old. I took my paintings to New York, they're all idiots there anyways and would eat my artwork up. I got a showing at a posh gallery. I was nibbling on some finger sandwiches when I overheard....

sinclair_tm · 02-21-2006, 01:39 PM

...that some big wig had lost several million dollars in a sewer drain down town, so i quickly left and got one of those monkeys from my morning job and rushed over there to have him get it out. good thing the zoo keeper lets me do anything after giving him kate's number. once the money was safely in my mattress, i took the monkey out to eat to celibrate this find. we went to...

**Glaswegian** · 02-21-2006, 03:26 PM

...an Italian restaurant, where the chimp started throwing lasagne about, so we were kicked out. I said to the chimp ".........

yustr · 02-21-2006, 03:57 PM

...nice going Bonzo. At least you could have waited until I finished the antipasta. NIce shot on the matre'd though. He looked at me kind of wierdly and pulled a ...

ebackhus · 02-21-2006, 04:24 PM

halium tank from some mystery place in his pants! I didn't know monkeys wore pants. Then the lights went out and I saw a disco...

**forcifer** · 02-21-2006, 04:38 PM

...ball out of no where. then the monkey started dancing like crazy. this guy was GOOD. however, i couldnt not think abut why he was so good because some cold hands......

**Spatcher** · 02-21-2006, 06:20 PM

grabbed my scabula and hauled my into the alley way. There they tried to beat me up, but thanks to my special training in the art of.....

ebackhus · 02-21-2006, 06:47 PM

Jeet kun l337. I did a powaultima death strike and flew away like the wind. Around the corner was...

02-21-2006, 06:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
Glaswegian Moderator/ Rangemaster TSF Academy; Analyst, Security Team; Oor Wullie; TSF Surgeon and Resident Comic Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Glasgow Posts: 25,512 OS: Win XP Pro SP3 / Win 7 Pro My System Blog Entries: 10	New Story Thread OK, let's start again - and see if we can make this one even more outlandish than the last one. It was a cold February morning, and as I walked down the street, I noticed... __________________ Iain - Defender of the Haggis and all things Scottish. I don't help by PM - post in the Forums. PC Safety & Security::PC running a bit slow?::Donate::Photographers Corner

02-21-2006, 06:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
crazijoe Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Omaha, The Center of the Universe Posts: 7,632 OS: WinXP, Win2K3 My System	..a man selling Icecream on the corner in shorts and a t-shirt. Odd I thought. So I went up to the man and.... __________________ Microsoft MCSA + Messaging, MVP, A+, Network+ http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b3...other/Help.jpg Do you want a real Republican? HDD diagnostic tools / HDD data recovery software

02-21-2006, 06:59 AM	#3 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,692 OS: winxp pro sp2	...isn't it a little cold for ice cream? "I am not here for sales. I am here for you!" he replied. As I struggled to get free, two men and a woman jumped from the back of the truck. I fought hard against the restraining men when the lady injected something into my neck. As I drifted into blackness, the salesman said "Will he be OK, doctor?" "The captain has been through a lot. Let's get him out of here." When I came to I was........................ __________________ "If you aren't a liberal when you're 20, you have no heart. If you aren't a conservative when you are 50, you have no brain"

02-21-2006, 08:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
yustr Asst. Manager, The Conversation Pit Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Connecticut shore Posts: 6,052 OS: XP Pro My System	...said CUT. This is supposed to be a romantic comedy not some space alien mumbo jumbo. Now let's take it from the top. Katie read your lines with feelng this time, OK? Oh you don't have any. Well can you fake sincerity? Great then you're Oscar potential. She just looked at me with her one good eye and said ... __________________ If there are lawyers or politicians involved, logic may be a very poor tool for reaching a conclusion.

02-21-2006, 08:42 AM	#6 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,692 OS: winxp pro sp2	.."Uh, duh, OK". God, where here parents married before or after they were married? She's lucky she's good in the sack, or I'd can her butt like Sicilian cans olive oil. She kept staring at me with that one good eye when I realized.... __________________ "If you aren't a liberal when you're 20, you have no heart. If you aren't a conservative when you are 50, you have no brain"

02-21-2006, 08:50 AM	#7 (permalink)
95five-0 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Corinth, TX Posts: 1,339 OS: 2000/XP/2003/Vista/2008	I could have gotten a much nicer person to work with. So I started to call my agent when... __________________ "If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it ?" <<PC Pitstop>><< AVG Free>><<Spybot>><<Everest 2.0>><<Trend Micro House Call>><<HijackThis How-to>>

02-21-2006, 09:53 AM	#8 (permalink)
DumberDrummer Cymru am byth Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Oregon Posts: 5,385 OS: Windows XP Pro SP2 My System	I noticed two cameramen making out. I immediately thought to myself __________________ Living with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane _____________________________________________ ... and with those words so begins my lifetime of longing for the devil's warm embrace

02-21-2006, 10:32 AM	#9 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,692 OS: winxp pro sp2	I have to quit. So I went job hunting. It didn't take me long to find a job. The pay was good but.... __________________ "If you aren't a liberal when you're 20, you have no heart. If you aren't a conservative when you are 50, you have no brain"

02-21-2006, 11:15 AM	#10 (permalink)
yustr Asst. Manager, The Conversation Pit Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Connecticut shore Posts: 6,052 OS: XP Pro My System	... having the monkeys sneer and geer at me as I cleaned their cage was irritating. Luckily I only had to do this in the mornings. In the afternoons I would be ... __________________ If there are lawyers or politicians involved, logic may be a very poor tool for reaching a conclusion.

02-21-2006, 12:49 PM	#12 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,286 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	Buy half of the planet. I had secretly begun hoarding money for this since I was 2. Now I was... __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.

02-21-2006, 01:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
bry623 Manager, The Conversation Pit/Analyst, Security Team Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: NW Territory circa 1787 Posts: 11,692 OS: winxp pro sp2	20, but still painted like a 4 year old. I took my paintings to New York, they're all idiots there anyways and would eat my artwork up. I got a showing at a posh gallery. I was nibbling on some finger sandwiches when I overheard.... __________________ "If you aren't a liberal when you're 20, you have no heart. If you aren't a conservative when you are 50, you have no brain"

02-21-2006, 03:26 PM	#15 (permalink)
Glaswegian Moderator/ Rangemaster TSF Academy; Analyst, Security Team; Oor Wullie; TSF Surgeon and Resident Comic Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Glasgow Posts: 25,512 OS: Win XP Pro SP3 / Win 7 Pro My System Blog Entries: 10	...an Italian restaurant, where the chimp started throwing lasagne about, so we were kicked out. I said to the chimp "......... __________________ Iain - Defender of the Haggis and all things Scottish. I don't help by PM - post in the Forums. PC Safety & Security::PC running a bit slow?::Donate::Photographers Corner

02-21-2006, 03:57 PM	#16 (permalink)
yustr Asst. Manager, The Conversation Pit Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Connecticut shore Posts: 6,052 OS: XP Pro My System	...nice going Bonzo. At least you could have waited until I finished the antipasta. NIce shot on the matre'd though. He looked at me kind of wierdly and pulled a ... __________________ If there are lawyers or politicians involved, logic may be a very poor tool for reaching a conclusion.

02-21-2006, 04:24 PM	#17 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,286 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	halium tank from some mystery place in his pants! I didn't know monkeys wore pants. Then the lights went out and I saw a disco... __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.

02-21-2006, 04:38 PM	#18 (permalink)
forcifer ole' Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kansas City kansas Posts: 3,631 OS: Vista Premium 32 My System Blog Entries: 1	...ball out of no where. then the monkey started dancing like crazy. this guy was GOOD. however, i couldnt not think abut why he was so good because some cold hands...... __________________

02-21-2006, 06:20 PM	#19 (permalink)
Spatcher Henry Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 3,484 OS: Mac OSX	grabbed my scabula and hauled my into the alley way. There they tried to beat me up, but thanks to my special training in the art of..... __________________ JohnThePilot: Cenedl heb iaith, cenedl heb galon (a nation without a language is a nation without a heart) John Butler Trio: Go take a step outside, see what's shakin' in the real world - Good Excuse Paul Kelly: Just add a dollop of tomato sauce for sweetness and that extra tang - How to Make Gravy

02-21-2006, 06:47 PM	#20 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,286 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	Jeet kun l337. I did a powaultima death strike and flew away like the wind. Around the corner was... __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.