Computer Consultant's Nightmare

**Jason** · 05-14-2002, 05:04 PM

[telephone ring]

Consultant: Hello. Computing center. User services. May I help you?
Voice: Hi is this the computing center?
Consultant: Arg! you got me! Yes, I admit it.
Voice: can I ask you a question?
Consultant: You most certainly can. Have a nice day.
Voice: Wait wait, that wasn't my question.
Consultant: Oh? What was the question?
Voice: Something to do with my computer.
Consultant: what a surprise. Ask me anyway.
Voice: something's wrong with my computer.
Consultant: okay.
Voice: ...
Consultant: hello?
Voice: I was hoping you could tell me what's wrong with it.
Consultant: Okay. Lets start from the beginning.
Voice: well,I just bought it and a friend hooked it up.
I turned it on and the screen just flickers.
Consultant: did you turn on both switches?
Voice: both switches?
Consultant: the on/off switch in front is for your monitor.
A second one in the back to the right is for the computer.
Voice: ... Oh yeah! Thanks alot. <click>
Consultant: do you have a boot disk in the a drive? Hello?

[ telephone rings ]

Consultant: do you have a boot disk in the a drive ?
Voice: what ?
Consultant: sorry. I thought you were someone else.
Voice: do you always try to anticipate your called?
Consultant: do you always sound like a jerk? Ask me a question.
Voice: Is this the best of all possible worlds?
Consultant: No you're in it. Ask me a computer question.
Voice: What's the difference between a byte and a nibble?
Consultant: The same difference between your IQ and your shoe size.
Why are you calling?
Voice: I'm looking for Karen.
Consultant: just a minute. KAREN! TELEPHONE FOR KAREN. IS THERE A KAREN HERE?
sorry. She's not here.
Voice: Is this Taylor dormitory ?
Consultant: NO ! THIS IS THE COMPUTING CENTER !
Voice: Oh. never mind. < click >
Consultant: AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

[ telephone rings ]

Consultant: WHAT DO YOU WANT !
Voice: ... its okay, I'll call back later. [ different voice ]
Consultant: No come on ask me a question ! Any question. Try to stump me.
Voice: If you drove up to a Burger King drive thru and ordered
an unlimited salad bar, could you stay there and pass the
plate back and forth or would you have to go around and around?
Consultant: ... who is this ?
Voice: < click >

[ telephone rings ]

Consultant: Computing center, user services.
Voice: Hi I did like you said and turned on both switches,
but still the computer wont work.
Consultant: Do you have a bootable disk in the A drive ?
Voice: A whowat ?
Consultant: come down to the computing center.
You need a special program and I can give you one here.
Voice: Okay. See you soon. <click>
Consultant: do you know where it is ? Hello ?

**Valiant** · 05-14-2002, 05:48 PM

Very nice....is it yours Danrak?? I'm really liking this computer humor.

The only joke I have is the one my barber told me yesterday... I'm not sure if it's appropriate though...so I'll wait until later or something.

05-14-2002, 06:05 PM

LOL That has just got to be real, It just sounds to familiar...:)

**Jason** · 05-16-2002, 11:03 AM

Nope. Don't know who orginally wrote it.

Phædrus2401 · 09-28-2009, 07:36 PM

The last post in this thread was on 05-16-2002... Seven and a half years ago. I think this qualifies as one of the great necroposts of our time.

05-14-2002, 05:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jason Faugh a ballagh Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Pasco, FL Posts: 8,460 OS: Windows Vista My System Blog Entries: 2	Computer Consultant's Nightmare [telephone ring] Consultant: Hello. Computing center. User services. May I help you? Voice: Hi is this the computing center? Consultant: Arg! you got me! Yes, I admit it. Voice: can I ask you a question? Consultant: You most certainly can. Have a nice day. Voice: Wait wait, that wasn't my question. Consultant: Oh? What was the question? Voice: Something to do with my computer. Consultant: what a surprise. Ask me anyway. Voice: something's wrong with my computer. Consultant: okay. Voice: ... Consultant: hello? Voice: I was hoping you could tell me what's wrong with it. Consultant: Okay. Lets start from the beginning. Voice: well,I just bought it and a friend hooked it up. I turned it on and the screen just flickers. Consultant: did you turn on both switches? Voice: both switches? Consultant: the on/off switch in front is for your monitor. A second one in the back to the right is for the computer. Voice: ... Oh yeah! Thanks alot. <click> Consultant: do you have a boot disk in the a drive? Hello? [ telephone rings ] Consultant: do you have a boot disk in the a drive ? Voice: what ? Consultant: sorry. I thought you were someone else. Voice: do you always try to anticipate your called? Consultant: do you always sound like a jerk? Ask me a question. Voice: Is this the best of all possible worlds? Consultant: No you're in it. Ask me a computer question. Voice: What's the difference between a byte and a nibble? Consultant: The same difference between your IQ and your shoe size. Why are you calling? Voice: I'm looking for Karen. Consultant: just a minute. KAREN! TELEPHONE FOR KAREN. IS THERE A KAREN HERE? sorry. She's not here. Voice: Is this Taylor dormitory ? Consultant: NO ! THIS IS THE COMPUTING CENTER ! Voice: Oh. never mind. < click > Consultant: AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!! [ telephone rings ] Consultant: WHAT DO YOU WANT ! Voice: ... its okay, I'll call back later. [ different voice ] Consultant: No come on ask me a question ! Any question. Try to stump me. Voice: If you drove up to a Burger King drive thru and ordered an unlimited salad bar, could you stay there and pass the plate back and forth or would you have to go around and around? Consultant: ... who is this ? Voice: < click > [ telephone rings ] Consultant: Computing center, user services. Voice: Hi I did like you said and turned on both switches, but still the computer wont work. Consultant: Do you have a bootable disk in the A drive ? Voice: A whowat ? Consultant: come down to the computing center. You need a special program and I can give you one here. Voice: Okay. See you soon. <click> Consultant: do you know where it is ? Hello ? __________________ Posting Tips \| Advice for New People \| Common Fixes \| Agus na damnaithe fágtha gan focal Glaoigh ormsa i measc na naomh

05-14-2002, 05:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
Valiant Tech Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,253 OS: Win XP Pro My System	Very nice....is it yours Danrak?? I'm really liking this computer humor. The only joke I have is the one my barber told me yesterday... I'm not sure if it's appropriate though...so I'll wait until later or something. __________________ "Just because your paranoid doesn't mean THEY aren't out to get you!" (º·.¸(¨·.¸ ¸.·¨)¸.·º) «.·°·. Valiant .·°·.» (¸.·º(¸.·¨* *¨·.¸)º·.¸)

05-16-2002, 11:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
Jason Faugh a ballagh Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Pasco, FL Posts: 8,460 OS: Windows Vista My System Blog Entries: 2	Nope. Don't know who orginally wrote it. __________________ Posting Tips \| Advice for New People \| Common Fixes \| Agus na damnaithe fágtha gan focal Glaoigh ormsa i measc na naomh

09-28-2009, 07:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
Phædrus2401 Hardware Tech Team Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Orleans Posts: 3,660 OS: Vista Ultimate x64 SP1 + Ubuntu 9.04 My System	Re: Computer Consultant's Nightmare The last post in this thread was on 05-16-2002... Seven and a half years ago. I think this qualifies as one of the great necroposts of our time. __________________ Good PSU brands: Corsair, SeaSonic, CWT, PC Power and Cooling, Thermaltake Toughpower, CoolerMaster Real Power Pro On 80+ Certification - PSU Information and Selection - Power Supply Myths You don't get what you don't pay for.

05-14-2002, 06:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
SPEEDO Guest Posts: n/a OS:	LOL That has just got to be real, It just sounds to familiar...:)