ReeKorl

AKA: Reasons why English is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22] I want it to be on record that I will record my Record.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Horse

I love this.................

If more than one foot is feet, then why is more than one boot not beet?
If more than one mouse is mice, then why is more than one house not hice?

yustr

A fisherman was experimenting with leaders of different shapes to determine which would sink fastest. After a number of trials his buddy asked him “So George, which lead lead lead?”

40sondacurb

I now know of a palace like place where me and my nice niece can see the sea.

yustr

In the “I can say it and everybody understands me. But I can’t write it” file is this gem: There are three (To? Too? Two?)s in the English language. Which way is correct?

DumberDrummer

There are three words that make the "too" sound in english :P

95five-0

why don't tomb, bomb, and comb rhyme.

ReeKorl

What other language would allow you to have the same word five times in a row, such as when talking about words on a sign saying 'The Slug And Lettuce'

"The Slug and And and And and Lettuce are too close together."

elf

If pro is the opposite of con then progress must be the opposite of congress

myquitehead

No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn.
I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all!

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may found a lone mouse or a whole set of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural wouldn't be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats and not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say Mother, we never say Methren,

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,

So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.

myquitehead

A boy who swims may say he swum,
But milk is skimmed and seldom skum,
And nails you trim; they are not trum.

When words you speak, these words are spoken,
But a nose is tweaked and can't be twoken.
And what you seek is seldom soken.

If we forget, then we've forgotten,
But things we wet are never wotten,
And houses let cannot be lotten.

The things one sells are always sold,
But fog dispelled are not dispold,
And what you smell is never smold.

When young, a top you oft saw spun,
But did you see a grin ever grun,
Or a potato neatly skun?

v-six

raise your house and raze your neighbor's

Spatcher

Lol you guys, good stuff!!!!

I was reading ReeKorl's post in CompSci this morning at school (we never do anything worthwhile anyways) and I laughed out loud, and the teacher (a realllll smart guy ) came over LOL! I had to exit real fast!!

Emporer_D

Lol, at least i started off with one of the hard ones! I'd rather have to learn spanish instead of english, but since I grew up with it, its easy!

I wonder if the way toddlers talk could be a more better way of talking.

DumberDrummer

Hahaha....

more better. rofl