smile

**speedster123** · 03-28-2008, 07:20 PM

TWENTY- NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park else where!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is t here's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few. Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.

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**sobeit** · 03-29-2008, 01:55 AM

words to live by...

**scathe30** · 03-30-2008, 04:14 AM

That was absolutely great. Nice aphorisms!

**ashumann12** · 03-30-2008, 11:48 PM

I love them all!

03-28-2008, 07:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
speedster123 Mentor Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: United States-New York-Long Island Posts: 5,228 OS: xp pro SP3	smile TWENTY- NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18.. Procrastinate Now! 19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park else where! 23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27.. The trouble with life is t here's no background music. 28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few. Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- __________________

03-29-2008, 01:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
sobeit TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: NEAR Posts: 7,433 OS: windows/linux	Re: smile words to live by... __________________ there's been global warming since the ice age

03-30-2008, 04:14 AM	#3 (permalink)
scathe30 Land of bears and vodka Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Russia, Moscow Posts: 837 OS: MacOs,Windows	Re: smile That was absolutely great. Nice aphorisms! __________________ The moving finger writes; and having writ Moves on, nor all thy Piety, nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a line Nor all thy Tears wash out a word of it...

03-30-2008, 11:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
ashumann12 TSF Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Alabama-usa Posts: 3,945 OS: Vista Ultimate SP1 (64bit) My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: smile I love them all! __________________ Adam Sr.