jimdoss

> RULES FOR CHOOSING THAT PERFECT GIFT FOR YOUR GUY...
>
> Rule #1:
>
> When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter
> if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has
> yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless
> drills. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #2:
>
> If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with
> the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two
> words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way,
> are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows
> why.
>
> Rule #3:
>
> If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A
> 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang
> from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one
> knows why.
>
> Rule #4:
>
> Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
> bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear
> bathrobes, He wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
>
> Rule #5:
>
> You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they
> have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a
> big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch
> him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
>
> Rule #6:
>
> Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave
> or deodorant. I'm told they think they do not stink - they
> are earthy.
>
> Rule #7:
>
> Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
> Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely
> everywhere. Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.
> You get the idea. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #8:
>
> Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required"
> on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always
> have parts left over.
>
> Rule #9:
>
> Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works,
> Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les
> Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are
> also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't
> know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I
> need. Hey!
> Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
>
> Rule #10:
>
> Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will
> barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane
> tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The
> challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
>
> Rule #11:
>
> Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins,
> or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred
> feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #12:
>
> Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a
> chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8
> and what happens when he gets a label maker.
>
> Rule #13:
>
> It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
> extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must
> be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #14:
>
> Tickets to a professional sports game are a smart gift.
> However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of
> 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why!!!!!

Jim
:D

DJ Specs

Yee Haw! More stuff to bug people with!