Joke Thread v. Last laugh 07

[Jack.Sparrow]

I've seen that one before, but I can't remember the explanation I'm guessing it's the triangles.

[karusho]

Secret is that it's not a pure triangle, the hypotenuse is curved. Look at the slopes of the colored sections, you'll see they're different.

[sandman55]

They are tricky I will have a better look later when I have more time.

[WereBo]

Originally Posted by Jack.Sparrow

Notice the bottom left one. He's missing part of his head -> the missing person. If you don't get this, I'll try and explain it better

It's not him because he's still there after the swap-round - the sequence goes from (columns) 3-3-2-3-2 to 2-3-2-3-2, so the lost person should be in the 2nd column.

I've got splinters in my fingertips from scratching my head at this one!

This one's a lot more obvious, mainly just very clever artwork, but still 'chuckle-able' at

[Jack.Sparrow]

Just a wee little break from all the puzzles
http://spikedhumor.com/articles/1513...h-a-twist.html

[sandman55]

These puzzles are good and I liked that clip JS.

[ashumann12]

Ok but can you dance like a 1st grader? Click Here

[JohnthePilot]

That's pretty amazing.

[WereBo]

Originally Posted by ashumann12

Ok but can you dance like a 1st grader? Click Here

Well, my little smiley can -

Seriously though - WOW!!! That kid has got some serious talent there!!! I hope her parents encourage her to follow it up, she's got a future before she's even reached a double-figure age

[1shotDROP]

That British dance clip thingy was brilliant.

[WereBo]

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a KitKat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, butt-naked, and holding his "You-Know-What" in his hand.

"Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that damn breathalyser test again!!!"

[sandman55]

Good one WereBo and the clip of the little girl dancing was great she was so flexible. If I tried to do half of what she did I would break in half.

[1shotDROP]

If God had a PC

In the beginning, there was the computer.
And God entered:
C:\Let there be light!
Enter user ID: C:\God
Enter password C:\Omniscient

Invalid password

Enter password C:\Omnipotent

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
C:\Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command
C:\Create light
Done
C:\Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night.

And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
C:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\Create firmament
Done.
C:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
C:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place
and let the dry land appear and...
Too many characters in specification string.
Try again.
C:\Create dry_land
Done.
C:\Run firmament

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
C:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness.
The sun ruled over the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night.
And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
C:\Create fish
Done
C:\Create fowl
Done
C:\Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth
where the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind.
And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
C:\Create cattle
Done
C:\Create creepy_things
Done
C:\Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\Create man
Done
C:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
C:\Insert breath
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\Move man to Garden of Eden
Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\Create Garden_of_Eden
Too many parameters
C:\Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\Copy woman from man
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\Create desire
Done
C:\Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Create freewill
Done
C:\Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an
inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel,
or ask for help.
C:\Create tree_of_knowledge
C:\Create good, evil
Done
C:\Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95.
Man and woman no longer located in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed. Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\Ctrl_Break
C:\Ctrl_Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS:
COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE
AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:\Create new world
You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
C:\Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
C:\Destroy earth
Confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.
SERVICE WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM.
YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.

On Saturday, March 7, God rested.

On March 8, God created Macintosh


(Look familiar Werebo? )

[ebackhus]

Isn't the logo of Apple an actual apple with a bite in it? So, Apple was what brought evil to our world?

[1shotDROP]

yessir that is correct

[WereBo]

Hehehehehehehe.... I wuz just thinking that looked familiar