Funny computer stories

milehile · 12-22-2006, 10:59 PM

I've heard a few in my day. The one that sticks out though is the story my dad told me.

He used to teach a computer class and one of his students told him about his dad who has never used a computer before who broke his cup holder. At first my dad didn't know what this guy was talking about so he dug a little further to find out that the CD tray of the old mans CD-ROM drive snapped under the weight of a big gulp.

Now let's hear some more.

fredmh · 12-22-2006, 11:15 PM

There used to be a joke exe program called "cup holder" which would open the cd-rom tray. Still have it somewhere.

**Joefireline** · 12-23-2006, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fredmh

There used to be a joke exe program called "cup holder" which would open the cd-rom tray. Still have it somewhere.

Haha, that program would be so useless on my slot load one.

GoSuNi · 10-15-2009, 05:57 AM

2nd best necropost I've ever seen.

**WereBo** · 10-15-2009, 10:28 AM

Back when I was 1st learning about PC's (Pre-Windows, either DOS-5 or DOS-6), my tutor had a wonderful saying, that he'd often mutter....

"I hate this machine I wish I could sell it
It won't do what I want it to, only what I tell it!"

It's sooooo true, at times

**5NIPER_WOLF** · 10-15-2009, 10:31 AM

Yeah I found that program one time. I never actually would use it as one but I wonder if it works well as one.

**afccarl666** · 10-18-2009, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fredmh

There used to be a joke exe program called "cup holder" which would open the cd-rom tray. Still have it somewhere.

Hehehe and here it is http://wareseeker.com/Home-Education...0.2.zip/223511

Mcninjaguy · 10-20-2009, 06:59 AM

Quote:

1285E8 (from Kristoph Minchau)
I had a ticket come in from a Very Important User: a member of the Board of Directors. The problem was that he could no longer access the Citrix server. Looking at it, I determined that we simply needed to resynchronize his RSA security token.

After calling him up, I asked him to please tell me "what numbers are currently displayed on the front of the token?"

"1285E8"

"What?"

"1285E8"

"Ah... can you tell me that again?"

"1...2...8...5...E - E as in Edward...8"

"Are you sure that is an 'E'?"

"Yeah, it's definitely an E"

"Um... there are only supposed to be numbers on the token. No letters."

"Well I'm reading it right her and it says: 1...2...8...5...E...8"

Thinking that it might be a broken LCD on the token I tried 128588 and 128538, both which didn't work. I thought it might also be a one time problem with the token, so I said, "Ok. We will wait till it changes, and I'll have you read me back the next number."

After 30 seconds, "Ok. It changed. The new number is: 12h851"

"What?"

"12h851 that is: 1...2...h - H as in House...8...5...1"

"Um....ok....?" I wasn't exactly sure what to do, short of physically replacing the token.

Fortunately he realized what was going on before I had to say anything else:

"Oh! I got it now!... I was holding it upside down! The number is 128451."

"128451... That works a whole lot better."

That's about the point you start wondering about who is running your company.

A Highly Specialized Technician (from Rodrigo Valenzuela)
As an IT tech for a newspaper printing company, I occasionally have to help the Highly Specialized Technicians that our equipment vendors send over for maintenance. These techs handle the hardware and software support for all of our complicated, in-house printing equipment.

One day, a Highly Specialized Technician was dispatched to fix a problem, but came armed with a notebook computer that didn't have a serial port or a usb-to-serial adapter. Because we needed the problem fixed immediately, I give him one of the spare PCs that I had in my office and told him that the username was "user" and the password "password".

A few hours later, the Highly Specialized Technician called me up to ask if I knew the serial number for the diagnosis software that he was trying to install. Of course, the software (like the tech) was Highly Specialized, so I had never heard of it before. I suggested that he call his boss for the serial number instead.

A couple hours later (his fifth hour onsite, if you're keeping count), he called back asking for the spare computer's password. Fair enough, I know how hard is to remember a password like "password". I spelled it out to him, letter-by-letter, and reiterated that it was all lower case.

"Sorry," he said, "it's not working."

I made sure he typed in "user" and then "password" - still, no luck. "Well," I said, "I better come down and look myself."

When I got there, the Highly Specialized Technician was at the Windows XP login window with the following data on the screen.

Username: Password
password: ****

Yes, that is a capital P. He was a highly specialized technician, indeed.

CD Not Working (from Fred Bar)
I'm sure this was a common occurrence a decade ago, but it remains one of my favorite support calls of all time. I was working phone support for an ISP and took a call from a customer that was having problems with our install CD. The computer just wasn't finding the CD.

I asked her to open "My Computer" and list the drives.

"I've got A, B, and C" she replied.

"B? Ma'am what did the drive look like that you inserted the CD into?"

"It's long and skinny with a lever on the front."

I cringed. "That's a floppy drive, not a CD-ROM drive. How'd you get it in there?"

At that point, I put the call on speaker phone for all the other techs to hear.

"It went in pretty easy," she casually said, "but it won't come out now. I have been going at it like an hour with a pair of tweezers."

"Ma'am you have put a CD-ROM in a floppy drive," I explained, "I'm not sure how you did that, but you need to take your computer to a local computer shop and have them get that CD out of there."

The phone went silent for a moment, and then she replied "oh I know, my kid has some gum."

"Wait, nooooo!!! I think that will just—"

She cut me off, "Sorry, let me call you back, I have to grab some gum."

I didn't hear from her again.

http://thedaily***.com/Articles/1285...d-Support.aspx

**5NIPER_WOLF** · 10-20-2009, 10:20 AM

Quote:

A Highly Specialized Technician (from Rodrigo Valenzuela)

Venezuela is spelled wrong.

Anyway, yeah that's some funny stuff. I love how stupid people can be.

Mcninjaguy · 10-21-2009, 01:30 AM

Hey I'm just the middle man, Cutting pasting is a hard job for sure!

**Lord Sirian** · 10-21-2009, 03:01 AM

lol I love Thedaily***, they have some really funny computer errors/stories there.

Mcninjaguy · 10-21-2009, 04:48 AM

I went through around 4 months of feature articles. Hilarious stuff in there.

ebackhus · 10-21-2009, 10:17 AM

Last night I got a call from a subscriber who was upset that during a short period in the spring and fall there are issues with services.

Caller: Every spring and fall this happens! The picture looks bad and the sound is funny and I don't like it!

Me: As strange as it sounds it's actually due to the way the earth is positioned in relation to our satellites and the Sun. During the fall and spring our dishes are pointed almost directly in the direction of the Sun. Solar radiation interferes with the satellite signals causing some distortion.

Caller: Well can you fix it?

Me: ...No?

Caller: You can't just move the satellites!?

Me: No, they have assigned and fixed locations in orbit.

Caller: Well who put them there!?

Me: NASA?

Caller: Well call them and tell them to move the satellites!

Me: I'll get right on that, ma'am.

Mcninjaguy · 10-21-2009, 04:55 PM

ebackhus · 10-21-2009, 07:05 PM

Best of all that is an absolutely TRUE story as it did happen to me.

**5NIPER_WOLF** · 10-21-2009, 07:07 PM

What do you do for work?

Rataru101 · 10-21-2009, 09:27 PM

Funniest video I've ever seen... THE WEBSITE IS DOWN!
IT Guy Vs Dumb Employees*Video

**5NIPER_WOLF** · 10-21-2009, 10:07 PM

First of all: That video contains language. Second: Why do they all sound like chipmunks? Third, I don't think this is real for 3 reasons 1. That computer is way to fast, 2. That computer is running XP AND Mac as programs you can switch to and 3. No real IT professional would swear, or would play games during work.

Rataru101 · 10-22-2009, 12:21 AM

Whoa sniper! Relaxxxxxxxx! Sorry I should have mentioned the language and yea of course it's not real. It's supposed to be funny and I think you missed it... As for the "No real IT professional..." that's a joke right? I'm am personally friends with a few and they are quite relaxed. Also, hence the guy saying "why did I have to dial an outside line, meaning the IT guy wasn't at work, probablyat home working. Hence the remote desktop...

**5NIPER_WOLF** · 10-22-2009, 07:49 AM

The remote dekstop would be expected for large companies, it saves time from having to walk to the person's cubicle/desk/office. I don't want to watch funny fake stories, then they aren't funny, if they are real THEN they are funny.

I'll still give you credit, it's a well made video and a good find.

12-22-2006, 10:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
milehile Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 473 OS: Windows 7 RC My System	Funny computer stories I've heard a few in my day. The one that sticks out though is the story my dad told me. He used to teach a computer class and one of his students told him about his dad who has never used a computer before who broke his cup holder. At first my dad didn't know what this guy was talking about so he dug a little further to find out that the CD tray of the old mans CD-ROM drive snapped under the weight of a big gulp. Now let's hear some more. __________________ *When you don't do something right, how can you be sure you've done anything at all?*

12-22-2006, 11:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
fredmh Analyst, Security Team ; TSF Supporter Join Date: May 2006 Location: Phila,Pa Posts: 2,335 OS: XP	There used to be a joke exe program called "cup holder" which would open the cd-rom tray. Still have it somewhere. __________________

10-15-2009, 05:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
GoSuNi Registered User Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 297 OS: Windows Vista: Home Premium My System	Re: Funny computer stories 2nd best necropost I've ever seen. __________________ Questions are infinite. Answers are finite

10-15-2009, 10:28 AM	#5 (permalink)
WereBo Resident Village Idiot Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SE London, UK Posts: 14,475 OS: Win-7, XP-Pro SP3 My System	Re: Funny computer stories Back when I was 1st learning about PC's (Pre-Windows, either DOS-5 or DOS-6), my tutor had a wonderful saying, that he'd often mutter.... "I hate this machine I wish I could sell it It won't do what I want it to, only what I tell it!" It's sooooo true, at times __________________ I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

10-15-2009, 10:31 AM	#6 (permalink)
5NIPER_WOLF Senior Tech, Games Team Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Toronto Canada Posts: 3,251 OS: Windows VISTA Home Premium 64-Bit/Fedora 11/Mandriva/WinXP SP3 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Funny computer stories Yeah I found that program one time. I never actually would use it as one but I wonder if it works well as one. __________________ Apps - CCleaner FireBug Network Mapper WinDirStat Process Explorer SpeedFan Info - Very Important NVIDIA Drivers ATI Drivers PSU Info I do not give support with MSN/E-mail or Private Messages.

10-21-2009, 01:30 AM	#10 (permalink)
Mcninjaguy Temporarily Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Posts: 10,422 OS: Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Funny computer stories Hey I'm just the middle man, Cutting pasting is a hard job for sure!

10-21-2009, 03:01 AM	#11 (permalink)
Lord Sirian Mentor, Games Team Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 1,640 OS: Windows XP SP 3 My System	Re: Funny computer stories lol I love Thedaily***, they have some really funny computer errors/stories there. __________________ "Come forth for the cattle call Confront the evil river you can't control Wicked ways and venomous eyes Just human nature in disguise..."- Clouds over California

10-21-2009, 04:48 AM	#12 (permalink)
Mcninjaguy Temporarily Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Posts: 10,422 OS: Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Funny computer stories I went through around 4 months of feature articles. Hilarious stuff in there.

10-21-2009, 10:17 AM	#13 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,275 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	Re: Funny computer stories Last night I got a call from a subscriber who was upset that during a short period in the spring and fall there are issues with services. Caller: Every spring and fall this happens! The picture looks bad and the sound is funny and I don't like it! Me: As strange as it sounds it's actually due to the way the earth is positioned in relation to our satellites and the Sun. During the fall and spring our dishes are pointed almost directly in the direction of the Sun. Solar radiation interferes with the satellite signals causing some distortion. Caller: Well can you fix it? Me: ...No? Caller: You can't just move the satellites!? Me: No, they have assigned and fixed locations in orbit. Caller: Well who put them there!? Me: NASA? Caller: Well call them and tell them to move the satellites! Me: I'll get right on that, ma'am. __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.

10-21-2009, 04:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
Mcninjaguy Temporarily Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Posts: 10,422 OS: Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit My System Blog Entries: 1	Re: Funny computer stories

10-21-2009, 07:05 PM	#15 (permalink)
ebackhus Manager, Design Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SATX Posts: 14,275 OS: WinXP Pro SP3/Windows 7 RTM My System Blog Entries: 28	Re: Funny computer stories Best of all that is an absolutely TRUE story as it did happen to me. __________________ ----------------------------- There are no dumb questions, unless a customer is asking them. Help in the fight against cancer and other serious illnesses.

10-21-2009, 07:07 PM	#16 (permalink)
5NIPER_WOLF Senior Tech, Games Team Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Toronto Canada Posts: 3,251 OS: Windows VISTA Home Premium 64-Bit/Fedora 11/Mandriva/WinXP SP3 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Funny computer stories What do you do for work? __________________ Apps - CCleaner FireBug Network Mapper WinDirStat Process Explorer SpeedFan Info - Very Important NVIDIA Drivers ATI Drivers PSU Info I do not give support with MSN/E-mail or Private Messages.

10-21-2009, 09:27 PM	#17 (permalink)
Rataru101 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: PA, USA Posts: 135 OS: XP SP2	Re: Funny computer stories Funniest video I've ever seen... THE WEBSITE IS DOWN! IT Guy Vs Dumb Employees*Video

10-21-2009, 10:07 PM	#18 (permalink)
5NIPER_WOLF Senior Tech, Games Team Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Toronto Canada Posts: 3,251 OS: Windows VISTA Home Premium 64-Bit/Fedora 11/Mandriva/WinXP SP3 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Funny computer stories First of all: That video contains language. Second: Why do they all sound like chipmunks? Third, I don't think this is real for 3 reasons 1. That computer is way to fast, 2. That computer is running XP AND Mac as programs you can switch to and 3. No real IT professional would swear, or would play games during work. __________________ Apps - CCleaner FireBug Network Mapper WinDirStat Process Explorer SpeedFan Info - Very Important NVIDIA Drivers ATI Drivers PSU Info I do not give support with MSN/E-mail or Private Messages.

10-22-2009, 12:21 AM	#19 (permalink)
Rataru101 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: PA, USA Posts: 135 OS: XP SP2	Re: Funny computer stories Whoa sniper! Relaxxxxxxxx! Sorry I should have mentioned the language and yea of course it's not real. It's supposed to be funny and I think you missed it... As for the "No real IT professional..." that's a joke right? I'm am personally friends with a few and they are quite relaxed. Also, hence the guy saying "why did I have to dial an outside line, meaning the IT guy wasn't at work, probablyat home working. Hence the remote desktop...

10-22-2009, 07:49 AM	#20 (permalink)
5NIPER_WOLF Senior Tech, Games Team Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Toronto Canada Posts: 3,251 OS: Windows VISTA Home Premium 64-Bit/Fedora 11/Mandriva/WinXP SP3 My System Blog Entries: 3	Re: Funny computer stories The remote dekstop would be expected for large companies, it saves time from having to walk to the person's cubicle/desk/office. I don't want to watch funny fake stories, then they aren't funny, if they are real THEN they are funny. I'll still give you credit, it's a well made video and a good find. __________________ Apps - CCleaner FireBug Network Mapper WinDirStat Process Explorer SpeedFan Info - Very Important NVIDIA Drivers ATI Drivers PSU Info I do not give support with MSN/E-mail or Private Messages.