Obituary of Common Sense
Posted 04-12-2008 at 08:07 AM by Jack.Sparrow
London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want
It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.
'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want
It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.
Total Comments 8
Comments
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Brilliant!Posted 04-17-2008 at 02:05 PM by ebackhus
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Absolutely! Nice one Jack but i noticed in another 2 of your blogs i have read you declared the source but not this one, does that mean you wrote it?Posted 05-15-2008 at 01:08 AM by deejay100six
Updated 05-15-2008 at 01:26 AM by deejay100six -
No. I got it in an email, one of those chain letter things. Usually I delete them but this one was actually interestingPosted 05-16-2008 at 09:36 AM by Jack.Sparrow
Updated 05-16-2008 at 09:41 AM by Jack.Sparrow -
Well, my mum's got it in an email now as well.
I read it to my wife today and all she had to say was," Yeah but, some teacher's deserve a slap".........cos she has done it in defense of her daughter and i think he deserved it, anyway, she broke her wrist when she gave him the right hook and layed him out in front of the whole class, this story has got the potential to be quite long and i can't be bothered just now, mebbe later.
Posted 05-16-2008 at 01:33 PM by deejay100six
Updated 05-16-2008 at 01:52 PM by deejay100six -
I fail to see a connection.
Or is that meant to be a different story?Posted 05-17-2008 at 06:01 AM by Jack.Sparrow
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Quote:Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
Posted 05-17-2008 at 06:51 PM by deejay100six
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Hello everybodyPosted 05-18-2008 at 11:20 PM by ckpare
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@ DJ - I see now
@ ckpare -
Posted 05-22-2008 at 05:30 AM by Jack.Sparrow
