http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/ Tech Support Forum is a free computer support center for everyone. From Microsoft to Linux we support it all. en Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:57:11 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.techsupportforum.com/cwd/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/ http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/73-funny-english-language.html Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:30:39 GMT We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may found a lone mouse or a whole set of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural wouldn't be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats and not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say Mother, we never say Methren,

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,

So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.

Source ]]> Jack.Sparrow http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/73-funny-english-language.html http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/72-random-facts-part-ii.html Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:23:03 GMT A few more :grin: * It is estimated that 15% of people chew on their toenails. * The identity of Jack the Ripper is still unknown. * 318 miles is the speed of the fastest wind ever recorded. * The leader in brains is the leech, with 32! * Ironically the fear of long words is a phobia... A few more :grin:

• It is estimated that 15% of people chew on their toenails.
• The identity of Jack the Ripper is still unknown.
• 318 miles is the speed of the fastest wind ever recorded.
• The leader in brains is the leech, with 32!
• Ironically the fear of long words is a phobia by the name of hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
• Only 38% of people in the United States eat breakfast on a daily basis
• The olive tree has a life span of up to 1500 years.
• About one trillion tons of water evaporates every day because of the sun.
• Cows can only walk up stairs not down
• The wingspan of a boeing 747 is longer than the Wright brothers original flight
• There is no "mouse-flavored" catfood!
• Pearls melt in vinegar!
• Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka!
• A car traveling 100 mph would take more than 29 million years to reach the nearest star
• In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
• In York, excluding Sundays, it is legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.
• In Sweden there is a ski-thru Mcdonalds

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Source 3 ]]> Jack.Sparrow http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/72-random-facts-part-ii.html http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/71-obituary-common-sense.html Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:07:34 GMT London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want
It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. ]]> Jack.Sparrow http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/71-obituary-common-sense.html http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/69-time.html Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:43:03 GMT A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams.

There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with those important to him. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over "his side of the fence" as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days, the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked. "I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

Time has a way of getting away from all of us...TAKE THE TIME...NOW.

Source ]]> Jack.Sparrow http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/69-time.html http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/68-random-facts.html Wed, 12 Mar 2008 02:26:56 GMT I really don't know what blogs are for, so here you go :laugh:

• In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
• Hippos have killed more than 400 people in Africa - more than any other wild animal.
• Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.
• In its entire lifetime, the average worker bee produces 1/12th teaspoon of honey.
• The world's largest mammal, the blue whale, weighs 50 tons at birth. Fully grown, it weighs as much as 150 tons.
• There is a an island of plastic and trash floating in the Pacific ocean that is twice the size of Texas.
• If a woman reaches her 50th birthday without cancer or heart disease, she can expect to see 92
• Every year, 100 men are diagnosed with breast cancer
• On average, 63 people each year in the UK die due to inhalation of animal hair.
• The ball of chewed food in your mouth (before you swallow) is called a bolus. Introduce this fact to the dinner table in polite company.
• The fastest bird is the Spine-tailed swift, clocked at speeds of up to 220 miles per hour.
• The fastest moving land snail, the common garden snail, has a speed of 0.0313 mph.

Source ]]> Jack.Sparrow http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/68-random-facts.html http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/67-truth-about-blogs.html Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:00:13 GMT "Blog: The word "blog" is literally shorthand for "boring;" a vulgar, overused word that strikes your ear with the dull thud of a cudgel to the soft spot of a child. It's an abbreviation used by journalism drop outs to give legitimacy to their shallow opinions and amateur photography that seems to be permanently stuck in first draft hell. . . ."

Source

:laugh: ]]> Jack.Sparrow http://www.techsupportforum.com/blogs/133347-jack-sparrow/67-truth-about-blogs.html