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Joke Thread
Lets try to keep the jokes clean ok?
Notice to Windows users outside of South Philly
= Important update from Microsoft regarding Windows...
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS XP SOUTH
PHILLY EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside South Philly. If
you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The South Philly edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: "WINDAS XP," with a background picture of the Italian Market.
When you start the program, instead of the usual "harpy, stringy" music,
you hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped with a
Sopranos
screen saver.
Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "South West Philly".
My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer".
The Inbox is referred to as "The Trunk".
Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked Out" or "Rubbed Out".
Dial up Networking is called "The Bar".
Control Panel is known as the "The Bosses".
Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancing the family
business" and will actually maximize the program instead of shuttingit
down.
Hard Drive is referred to as "I-95 Rush Hour".
Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!"
pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTH PHILLY EDITION:
OK.......................... Sure ting
Cancel.................... Fugetaboutit
Reset...................... Start Ova
Yes.......................... Yeah
No........................... Nah
Find........................ Put a contract out on
Browse................... Get a looksee
Back....................... Ubie
Help....................... (Help is not available - yous don't need no
stinking help)
Stop...................... Knock it off
Start...................... Move it!
Settings................. Here's the Rules
Also note that any voice recognition software run on the SOUTH
PHILLY EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "r.
Some programs and other accessories that are exclusive to
WINDAS XP:
Typa................... A word processing program
Printa................. Printer
Calculata........... Calculator
Solitare.............. Seven Card Stud
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if
you received a copy of the SOUTH PHILLY EDITION.
You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
Yous got a problem wit dat?
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