Security levels raised
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France's principal white flag
manufacturing facility, effectively paralyzing their military.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.
The Italians have increased their alert level from "Shouting Loudly
and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels
remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone
from "Isolationist" to "Find Somewhere Else in the Middle East Ripe
for Regime Change". Their remaining, higher alert states are "Take on
the World" and "Ask the British for Help".
Finally, here in GB, we've gone from "Pretend Nothing's Happening"
to "Make Another Cup of Tea". Our higher levels are "Remain Resolutely
Cheerful" and "Win". In parliament today, the British attitude level
was raised from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, it may be raised
yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not
been at "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all
but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A
Bloody Nuisance". The last time the "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level
was issued was during the Great Fire, in 1666.
I think it's the absolute limit myself. If these terrorist chaps
have a grievance, why can't they just write an angry letter to the
BBC!!