image 1.Firefox is only thing running..

2. Here there is two Game clilents open and connected, also VMware is running and streaming a video on firefox, Winamp is also running.
notice there is no increase in total RAM
Since i posted, Microsoft "Research Team" called me and did exactly what the first guy did, i allowed remote, he looked at TM, MSinfo32, and again told me theyd have to look into it. so i have no clue.
Vista isnt only not showing that its there, its not utilizing it when it should be. In the second pic, the computer is very slow to respond. Even with 4 of those clients running in the other OS it has no issues when utilizing all 4GB. Vista will lock up and throws the clients off the internet, and inevitably something will go unresponsive. The second pic was going to be with 3 clients, but they kept crashing, and once the screen capture software i had went unresponsive. The HD is very clean, having uninstalled, Defraged, Registry cleaned, disk cleanup. i have only stuff running that i use regularly.
so no, thats what the first guy from microsoft tried to tell me as well, but when he looked at himself, he passed it on to someone else. I have no idea. i do know what im doing to some degree, i have a couple IT certs. but i dont understand why vista wont use all the memory... any help is appreciated thx
Edit:posted wrong pic