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Yeah as Pharoah says it no bad than what you see in the news, it is no worse than what you see in films aswell. But the reason people probably see it as bad is due to the fact you are controlling the violence.

With the realism of the body physics in GTAIV actually has me avoiding killing people, (well, inocent people anyway) the first time i shot a person in the game and they dropped to the floor with, what i would imagine is startling realism, made me feel really bad.